I have a request to all those talented directors in bollywood. When you take a hindi movie,MAKE IT A FUCKING HINDI MOVIE. Rajastani, bhojpuri, haryanvi, punjabi and indori aren't hindi.

Do that or return my money.

Now, that's what I'd call a gift

Thanks, archana!

All I need now is a non-bitchy landlord to call people over for a weekend party!

Lizard liqueur

To all the happy people in the world, here's something to screw your happiness

lizard liqueur
Originally uploaded by a.rud.beth.

Ode to an extinct theropod diapsid.

Repost

Oh you fearsome dromaeosaurid,
thy presence electrifies the celluloid

Hailing from the mighty archosaurs,
quiteunlike anaconda's anal spurs

Megalodon, in comparison, was but a turkey
peed in its pants and ran away like leon trotsky

On your glance mammals scurry,
lest they become rodent curry

Cut, slash and rip hapless mammals,
running fast without sandals

Thou art great, thou art strong
incredibly sexy, without a gong.

How poetry killed my hair

If bad hair is a measure of one's poetry skills, I am Keats' frontal lobe.

Shortcut to fame - Suggestion 14

I see so much angst among the madras bloggers, but strangely, nobody wantes to make use of this little window of opportunity to become a star, fighting on the side of justice and some such crap.

Since bloggers' demographics is not my speciality, I'd suggest that Kiruba or Nilu star a Bloggers for Auto fair(fare) or some such hopelessly inane catch-phrase, bring together equally inane bloggers, start an online campaign, perhaps an online petition and become fucking famous.

I tell you, madras women dig people who fight for their auto fair(fare) ;)

A weekend, a wedding, some fun and an overdose of fat women

Had been to Madras this weekend to attend my cousin's wedding. For those of you that aren't familiar with a tamil wedding, here is a primer.

1. It goes on for an insanely long time; three days, to be precise.

2. Most of the time is spent, not on the couple getting married, but in the process of appeasing a bunch of totally worthless pampered pot-bellied fify-year old men with unkempt moustaches and monstrous egos, matched only by their staggering stupidities.


Anyway, had lots of fun with cousins and some kick-ass food.

Nonagenerian grandparents


And just to assuage my guilt,
US researchers have taken a mouse back in time some 500 million years by reversing the process of evolution.

The pain comes up every now and then
With a semi-religious regularity
Like a fucking planet in the sky
Around an angelic bright star.

Feels like you lost your limb
The feeling of not dialing a familiar number
A million better things beckon you
And your phantom limb keeps dialing.

Sometimes you throw up
Wanting to purge the number
Little do you realise
That the number is your mucous, not your fucking food.

Some crazy coprolite

Insightful paper on A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers by D. Waitzman.

Evidently, John Lennon hasn't read The Selfish Gene.