Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Am ashamed to be human

"Entertainer of the day".......
This site usually entertains me... but today, i find myself enraged... because of this.....

It is permissible for a woman to work or study so long as a number of conditions are met:

- That this work is suited to the nature and aptitude of women, such as medicine, nursing, teaching, tailoring and so on.

- The work should be in a place that is for women only, with no mixing between the sexes. It is not permissible for a woman to study or work in a mixed school.

- The woman should wear proper Islamic hijaab at work.

- Her work should not lead to her travelling without a mahram.

- Her going out to work should not involve her committing any sin, such as being alone with the driver, or wearing perfume where non-mahram men will be able to smell it.

- That should not lead to her neglecting her duties of looking after the house or taking care of her husband and children.

To hell with everybody...

Paraphrasing myself... If indeed there is a god, and he is a sexist, i would rather do without one... dont know if i have ever been as furious as i am now....

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Eats, Shoots & Leaves

If this satanic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes causes no little gasp of horror or quickening of the pulse, you should probably put down this book at once. By all means congratulate yourself that you are not a pedant or even a stickler; that you are happily equipped to live in a world of plummeting punctuation standards; but just don’t bother to go any further. For any true stickler, you see, the sight of the plural word “Book’s” with an apostrophe in it will trigger a ghastly private emotional process similar to the stages of bereavement, though greatly accelerated. First there is shock. Within seconds, shock gives way to disbelief, disbelief to pain, and pain to anger. Finally (and this is where the analogy breaks down), anger gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of a permanent marker.

One can almost feel her pain....

Read the excerpt here

Play the punctuation game here. Am a 92% stickler...

Eagerly waiting for someone to buy the book. Will borrow it from him/her....

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Raptoral ramblings...

There are very few insults that I take seriously, and fewer that I take personally. But when someone hits the "wrong spot".... well... i dont do anything, except end up hating them. And talking ill of dinosaurs comes somewhere near the top of the list.

This person came up to my desk(who she is and why she came is irrelevant). The only thing that I knew about her was that she had a strange name... very strange indeed.

Before delving further, it would be in everyone's best interest for me to give a brief description of what exactly my desk has... To my monitor's right is a printout supported by four pins, stuck to a pale blue background, in which Marvin, peering out with his triangular eyes from a huge head, says

Dont Panic

and to its left is the printout of a velociraptor mongoliensis, the pinnacle of carnivorean evolution; the feathered terror, brandishing its claws and ready for a kill. Its breathtaking.

She comes up to my desk, looks at my my raptor, and exclaims:

'What an ugly bird!'

'Bird?????' shouted the shocked me, much to the dismay of the fellow-cubiclers.

'My dear, birds dont have teeth... this one has rows of serrated teeth'.

'What is it then?'

'It is a velociraptor, a dinosaur'

'Guess they were dumb.. thats why they died' she said in a supremely confident tone that characterises a software engineer... the same tone in which s/he refers to black holes- like they found one in their backyard last night.. thanks to all these books on popular science.

This was getting a bit too uncomfortable for me... Not only does she say that its ugly and its a bird... she also goes on to say they are dumb...

'Dinosaurs existed for more than 200 million years.... you humans are only 2 million years old.. survining 200 million years in a harsh world needs a little more than being dumb'....

I also wanted to say 'Whatever it is, I am sure that they were not as dumb as you are. Atleast they wont mistake raptors for ugly birds'...

So thinking, I walked out on her....

P.S: This is the image that caused it all...

Monday, January 17, 2005

Any self-respecting woman will denounce her religion considering the respect meted out to women in organised religions(hinduism and islam)...

Its amazing what conditioning from childhood can do to people... They accept inhuman practices in the name of religion, sanctity, chastity, purity and a million other ities.

I dont want an MC god... would rather do without one....

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Tintin's lack of libido explained

Tintin, the intrepid comic book reporter, looks like a young teen because of a growth hormone deficiency and the effects of too many blows to the head, a study says.

Imagine people getting paid for doing such work... I offer to do similar research for X-men... Any takers?

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Are dinosaur fossils evidence for the great Flood?

If you want to kill your child's(alternatively, yours) scientific curiosity, feel free to visit pay a visit here ...
I dont guarantee as much entertaiment as this site...

Few excerpts

Today, many animals are only being saved by zoos. Dinosaurs became extinct long before people worried about such things.

The Flood and the changes it caused in the environment are the main reason dinosaurs died off. However, sinful people may have caused dinosaur deaths in an even more direct way.

And, this one is a gem:

Women should be beneath men on four things (Ref: 7.Vol II p373)

And someone else remarked: “ A wife should be beneath her husband in four things or else she will despise him: age, height, wealth and lineage. She should be better than him in four others: beauty, manners, character and scrupulousness in matters of religion.”

Being a theist is an insult to one's outlook towards life.....

P.S: the "one" here is me

Monday, January 10, 2005

Ergodic hypothesis

The ergodic hypothesis says that, over long periods of time, the time spent in some region of the phase space of microstates with the same energy is proportional to the volume of this region, i.e. that all accessible microstates are equally probable over long period of time. Equivalently, it says that time average and average over the statistical ensemble are the same.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Heavy one....

Supposed to have been told by some friend of nilu, sometime, somewhere... verrry heavy...

The concept of "redistributive justice" is based on the idea that we should create a level playing field for all individuals, as Buffet's comment makes clear. However, why stop with money? Why not scar the faces of the beautiful and inflict brain damage on the intelligent?

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Karmic Tithes - 2

What happened earlier : Karmic Tithes - 1

Behavioural experts around the world are of the opinion that the first contact will be the single most defining moment in history since the adam dude ate the apple. The first human contact with an alien civilisation, if any, will have a profound and irreparable impact on the human society. For the first time since the homo erectus developed the first wisps of anything that remotely resembled cogitative ability, humanity will be face to face with a species much superior to itself; and an overwhelming fraction of humanity has to come to terms with the non existence of god. Without the comforting stability of a solid pillar of strength to lean back upon, civilisation would crumble, suicide rates will increase exponentially, law and order will become obsolete.

The first contact turned out to be one huge anti-climax. Its not everyday that you wake up to see a three-legged creature drooling in your garden, and mistake it for a velociraptor playing a guitar.

\Ag`noi*ol"o*gy\ ([a^]g`noi*[o^]l"[-o]*j[y^]), n. [Gr. 'a`gnoia ignorance + -logy.] (Metaph.)

The doctrine concerning those things of which we are necessarily ignorant.

For quite sometime, being an agniologist was the coolest thing in the planet of zygota, That was before transchizer was invented.

What follows is the tragic story of how a passionate quest for ignorance and single-minded devotion to nescience overcame all hurdles and brought about the death of a civilisation. Well... almost!

For a long time, Zygota was as close as anything can get to Utopia. Zygota was the fourth planet in the planetary system of Amoeba, and Utopia was the third, and it would have remained that way, had it not been for the fourth great war.

Those were the days , the senile zygotes would say... the days of plenty; the days when the land was yellow and the seas were a lush shade of salmon; the days when zygotes were basking in the glory of their marvellous civilisation... There were agrologists, xenozoologists, pedologists, histologists, physicists, architects, engineers and researchers who played their part in shaping this marvellous culture, the best in the galaxy. Science was god and research was the path to salvation. The ever-increasing knowledge base prompted scientists to look out for newer unknown areas. Thus was born the science of Agnoiology.

Being an agnoiologist was cool... You are ignorant of what the dark side of the second moon of lucifer looks like... Off you go to see... and the moment you see it, you are no longer ignorant... your job is done... then, off you go to become non-ignorant of the effect of mendelian belly dancers on a inebritated tripod. This new science was a rage... All of a sudden, everyone wanted to be an agnoiologist.

Being ignorant was cool... Ignorant fools travelled, and how... they flew business class to everywhere in the Ameoba system, and to almost all places in the cluster.... agnoiologists went to all the exotic places and had sex with all exotic alien species as a part of their "disignorance drive". Being ignorant paid. Being ignorant amused.Hence, being ignorant flourished. Parents wanted their children to be ignorant, in the best interest of the children. School became the place where jerks slog out to become nobody. Good children stayed at home, and stared at the walls. Nobody wanted to know anything in the fear that the knowledge would weigh against thier qualification to be an agnoiologist. Soon, zygota became a place where imbeciles crawled all over the place in the hope of becoming adept at being an imbecile.

And, the transchizer spoilt it all... In one smooth move, it destroyed the dreams of millions...

Transchizer was the product of one of those jerks who did not want to be an agnoiologist. Upon tuning transchizer to the cumulative frequecny of a person's congnitive waves and focussing it on any place, the person becomes schizophrenic, splits into two, and one part is transported to the focussed location. Some other jerk had the bright idea that could bring about a radical shift in agnoiology. Instead of sending a person to every place, the person can just be schized. Bang went all the romance out of agnoiology.

It was one such schizophrenic that Vishy mistook for a velociraptor with a guitar when he woke up on a chilly wednesday morning.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Am supposed to be happy and on top of the world and all the rest of it today ....

Is this some cruel joke?

P.S: Never mind.........