Thursday, March 31, 2005

Man, this bike is going to kill me soon. Have to throw the goddamned disk brake and install drum brakes.

I'd want to live.

The irritating surname factor

Think of these:
1.Ichneumia albicauda devours Ophiophagus hannah
2. My Canis lupus familiaris peed on the Azadirachta indica
3. Hello, Ishwar Sridharan

Good morning. I am Ishwar, and I DON'T have a surname. Thank you.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Transcript of the my conversation with Sundar

First few sentences are deleted

Looks like I have antagonised quite a few people in the process. I guess this transcript would clarify the backburners.

(11:30:12) Ishwar: life sucks

(11:30:19) Sundar: y da?

(11:30:27) Ishwar: u cant express a plain opinion w/o ur friends mistaking u

(11:30:30) Sundar: I feel that its interesting

(11:30:48) Sundar: I dont think they took it too wrong

(11:31:22) Sundar: they now have a mix of mild contempt and sigh at ur posts

(11:33:08) Sundar: I haven't gotten any remark by them, ur clarification is visible from my my POV

(11:33:17) Ishwar: my point is this: i would have written the same thing had even maneka gandhi/gandhi himself did it.

(11:33:25) Sundar: dunno if it'll b obscured for them

(11:33:33) Sundar: ya I know

(11:33:36) Ishwar: i dont see why i shd react differently if it is u guys. thats all

(11:33:43) Ishwar: that wud be hypocrisy

(11:35:08) Sundar: (the only problem with us is that on the one hand we denounce the notion of virtue but on the other hand we say something (hypocrisy here) is bad, I am still not able to come to terms with this inconsistency)

(11:35:41) Ishwar: hmmm

(11:35:51) Ishwar: good point

(11:36:59) Sundar: (probably it is this: once we find the immediate cause of some phenomenon and see that people ascribe different purpose to that, we develop a stiffness towards that phenomenon itself)

(11:37:23) Ishwar: wrong

(11:37:46) Sundar: in my above comment read "ascribe different purpose or the fact thqat they ascribe a purpose to it at all)

(11:37:50) Ishwar: i dont deny _philanthropy_

(11:38:14) Ishwar: it is the society trying to balance itself or finding a new balance

(11:38:40) Sundar: 2 points...

(11:39:05) Sundar: 1. my comments were directed the more intersting subject of hypocrisy though it may apply here too

(11:39:05) Ishwar: and for that i understand that there shd be some hype or feleing of virtue surrrounding it

(11:39:24) Ishwar: otherwise, there is no incentive

(11:39:33) Sundar: ya

(11:39:37) Ishwar: just that i am not able to digest this fact

(11:39:39) Ishwar: simple

(11:39:44) Sundar: forgot the second point

(11:40:23) Ishwar: (11:39:05) Sundar: 1. my comments were directed the more intersting subject of hypocrisy though it may apply here too : I dont understand this

(11:40:46) Ishwar: ok, let me give an example

(11:40:57) Sundar: this was in response to ur msg "i dont deny _philanthropy_"

(11:41:13) Sundar: go ahead

(11:41:14) Ishwar: all of us know mutation is absolutely necessary for survival and adaption

(11:41:49) Sundar: I wud read that less teleologically as "mutation causes A and B"

(11:41:54) Ishwar: and we know that nature isnt doing us a favour by allowing/supporting mutation

(11:42:17) Ishwar: rather, nature's whole survial is based on that

(11:42:32) Ishwar: now, if i say mutation is a virtue, how would u react?

(11:42:48) Ishwar: i'd say it is bullshit.

(11:43:00) Ishwar: thats precisely what i say now

(11:43:00) Sundar: I wud say it is hypocrisy

(11:43:14) Ishwar: kindly explanation

(11:43:29) Sundar: -a way of cajoling ppl to do things that u don't want to-

(11:43:47) Ishwar: precisely

(11:44:09) Sundar: even when that (cajoling) may not really needed to be done for the other guy, he might be doing it for his own pleasure

(11:44:41) Ishwar: i differ in this aspect

(11:44:50) Ishwar: i mean, i dont think so

(11:45:06) Ishwar: btw, can i publish this conversation on my blog?

(11:45:22) Sundar: sure

(11:45:28) Ishwar: gracias
Such posts really put me off.

All of them are well settled in jobs and could have lived a life without any worries about the world. But instead they chose this virtuous path.

My dear, virtue is the humanity's second most farcical word. I believe they do such things for one or more of the following reasons.
1. It is a good way to make money(as good a reason as there can ever be).
2. They want to shag their ego(can't think any reason can be nobler than this{no sarcasm here.. i really mean it})

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

This is not one of those romanticising over a hazy contemplation, I swear. Rather, it is one of those realisations that emerge, not part by part; not slowly; and not in a gradual fashion like a sunrise which makes you wonder at the end of it if this is indeed as much the beautiuful sight as you had conceived of , but one that is more like death. You knew about it all along, but never quite grasped the magnitude. You have thought about it in pieces, and never bothered to link them, never imagined the concept in its full splendour, and never realised that the sum of parts is greater than the sum of parts.

Now I know do certain things that I do, why I fell in love with the people I fell in love with and why I like dinosaurs!

My thoery rocks dude! More on this later. Looks like I have finally started shedding all pretense :)
I have a script ready for my movie. Based on the fallability of human perceptions. Involves only 3 characters.

Anybody willing to fund?
Life seems to lack the continuity that it had when I was younger. Transition between events, people, thoughts and deeds are abrupt. It almost feels like you are not one, but a collection of people.

A dinner isn't a dinner. It is a chance to meet up. A phone call isn't a phone call. It is a shameless facade to ask a favour. A porn movie isn't a porn movie. Well actually, it is.. Never mind. Forgot what I wanted to say.. Some other time probably...
It is interesting how I hate anthromorphism in religion and science fiction, and for that matter in everything, except cartoons.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Notes from my first day at the gym

Sedentary job, coupled with daily consumption of cheese has, to nobody's surprise, landed me in this spot. I was witnessing the birth of a tummy that started spilling over onto my bike's petrol tank, and all of a sudden, I could see people poring over the newspaper and reading "Man gets wedged to a chair over the weekend and dies".

My survival insticnts took over and led me to the gym where the carnivorous fat-eaters waited for their morning snack. I gave 4900 joules(metric system, you seee:) ) in a matter of 5 minutes, became satisfied, came out, and had a chocolate-cream pastry.

Well, looks like the newspaper article is bound to come true.
I was brought up with the message of not being attached to anybody.

The day my grandmom died, my mom did not cry. Two minutes after she died, my mom was getting ready for the funeral.

My mom wanted me to not do my engineering in Madras, reminding me that i
should learn to stay alone.

In the railway station, when the train to Tanjore was about to depart, my dad said: "You can drink, smoke, become a drug addict, do whatever, i dont mind. But dont do it with MY money. Do whatever when you start earning".

When I said that I am going to Bangalore to do my PG, and not to the US, my dad said "You know best".

After all this, my dad complains that I did not call up my relative on her marriage. He wants me to call her and invite her to my house in
bangalore. It isn't too much to ask for. But I dont give a damn.

I don't pretend to understand parents.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Retrospecting an unhappening(extended) weekend

1. Read Deception Point. Don't know why I liked this man's Da Vinci Code. Could have read Shoba De instead. Believe me, it was so bad.

2. On the positive side, I was thinking a lot about Exobiology, after a very long time. I'd rather that my tax money goes to SETI, xeno biology and alien morphology than to some goddamned tsunami victim, about who I don't give as much as a damn. (Kuzh, jump at the opportunity. The gramar is bad, even by EKD's standards)

3. Everyone you love departs.

4. Pondered more on the broadband issue. Can feel it is just around the corner(Yippeee...). More than ever I need broadband now to preserve whatever is left of my sanity. Would prefer buying used ear buds for 10k to buying a TV.

5. Have to think of reasons for my compulsive habit of numbering everything, right from posts to writing a letter. Looks kind of strange. Imagine this:

Please find my comments enumerated below:
1. How are you? Am doing great
2. Went to a movie last night. you would have liked it.
3. And so on...

6. Am seriously considering becoming a full-time writer.

7. Wish Vaidy/Nilu were in India. No complaints though.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Dammit.. no time for posts... am thinking of getting a broadband connection at home.

Captain in and as Tennis Thirunaavukkarasu

Stroyline of Captain's next film....
Courtesy: fwd from Nithya

Sania Mirza has slipped from her world ranking of 99 to 133, and the Olympics are less than 2 months away. She approaches the Indian Tennis Association for help to find somebody to coach her to win the Olympics gold medal. The President of the association tells her there is only one man to help her ?CAPTAIN THIRUNAVUKKARASU?the long forgotten Indian tennis star. Captain now lives in a small village called Arasampatti with his wife, Trisha and cow, Meenatchi. He lives a quiet, contented life looking after his farm with his wife.

zzzzz flashback to when Captain was a young student in his college, jollu uttufying behind trisha. One day, one of the students in the college, who incidentally is also behind trisha, challenges Captain to a game of tennis to decide who is the real hero. Trisha loves Captain and cajoles him into practicing hard for tennis so that he can beat the villain and show who is who. Not only that, trisha tells Captain that, he must not only conquer this frontier but also win a GOLD MEDAL for INDIA in the Olympics. With all this in mind, Captain practices hard and defeats the villain (that?s pretty simple for captain actually). During the practice sessions there is a song with trisha in a mini-mini-skirt and captain playing with tennis balls. As you all know captain is so naughty so he plays around?err, u get the drift?
Captain then goes onto the Olympics. One secret of Captain?s success is that he drinks his cow Meenatchi?s milk everyday. So captain takes special permission to take the cow along, so that he can win the Gold Medal. He milks Meenatchi between every change over and drinks it. Captain breezes through the initial rounds and meets John Mcenroe in the final.

The match is going really close and Mcenroe is winning. Then trisha who is in the stands, starts singing ?mannava unakku enda mcenroe va potti, nee jeyicha enikki rathiri lootti??.? then Captain brings out Meenatchi and milks her and drinks it all in one gulp, spilling most of it on his chest (the cameraman focuses on his chest and the girls in the crowd faint at the sight of Captain?s powerful muscles). Now that Captain is refreshed he goes back and beats the shit out of Mcenroe. Mcenroe who isn?t used to being beaten, badmouths Captain. Captain, never one to miss out on an opportunity for a dialog, looks at Mcenroe with his steely eyes, gives him one of his special nakkal smiles and says ?enda Thirunavukkarasu-kku aruvalum veesa theriyum, tennis racquet-um veesa theriyum. Naan oru missan (mission) la vandurukken, edula nee enna da, ongappan vanda kooda, enna thadukka mudiyadhu.? He wins easily and during the presentation ceremony talks about how he trained hard for his success and thanks his ?thai mannu?, trisha and Meenatchi. He comes back to India to a hero?s welcome, but Captain does not want glory and fame, so he goes and settles in the small village and manages the farm. There he and trisha live happily singing a couple of songs now and then.

zzzzz Present?.. Sania finds her way to Arasampatti and convinces Captain to coach her so that she can win the Olympic Gold Medal. Trisha is reluctant, but Captain is adamant that India must be win a gold medal and the only chance is Sania and Sania?s only hope is CAPTAIN. Captain then trains Sania and puts all his effort into it. He even tells her that she can win if she drinks Meenatchi?s milk. Meenatchi, though very old now, still produces milk so that Sania can win the Gold medal (After all, Meenatchi is an Indian cow).

The Olympics comes and Sania, Captain and Meenatchi travel to London where the Olympics are being held. Sania being Captain?s student breezes through the
initial rounds and meets Serena Williams in the finals. Sania gets injured in between and is limping her way through the match with difficulty. Captain is cool as usual. He goes to milk Meenatchi so that Sania can regain her energy. But the villains have given her an injection to stop her from giving milk. In fact, Meenatchi is almost dead. If only they knew who they were up against they wouldn?t have done it. But anyway, Captain starts on the family song and Meenatchi gets up and gives milk. Sania who is now
recharged, goes back and starts playing amazing tennis. The linesman makes a wrong call. Odane namma Captain enters the scene ?oru chinna tennis ball, line-a thandudha thandalaya nnu ozhunga solla mudiyalaye, anga oru periya Line of Control-a thaandi
theevaravathinga varaanga. Kashmir-la rathriyum pagalum uyirukku anjama natta kappatharaanga enga nattin veerargal. adunaala daan, enikki naanga olymbics la vandu epdi tennis adarom. Anda tyagigala
nenacchu paaru, onnoda velaiya nee ozhunga seyya mudiyum? (kanna pinna senti daan, but Captain cant resist talking about Pakistani theevaravadhis)

Sania continues to play and suddenly Meenatchi dies. Sania becomes heartbroken and starts losing. Captain cannot do anything. Sania tries her very best. Its
match point for Serena and Sania breaks her leg. The aspirations and hopes of a billion Indians and millions of Tamillans are at stake. Appo namba Captain
takes a brave decision .... To play in the place of Sania. But how can he play, he is old and tired and moreover he does not have Meenatchi milk.. Then Trisha comes to rescue. She says "Mama, ungalukkage, naan
speciala nethikku yaarukkum teriyama, Meenatchi paal oru bottle vechiriken, inthaanga". Captain is moved by Trisha's gesture.

So he drinks the last drop of Meenatchi paal, and enters the kalam to standing ovation of thousands of people. But, it is not over yet, Pakistani theeviravaatigal, are still following our Captain trying to sabotage his plans. So there fire 2 shots
hits our Captain in his hand and on his leg. Blood is gushing out of Captains hand and legs, his eyes are red as usual. Medic team arrives at the scene, but our
Captain refuses any help. He gets up, finally and the crowd is cheering loudly. Trisha is crying. Meenatchi maadu somehow comes back to life(no one knows how, its
coz of Captains dedication to tamil). He gets up and serves , but Serena returns really well, and Captain misses it and falls. Serena is celebrating her win,
when our Captain gets up, chases the ball just before it touches the ground and hits it with all his force. The ball goes out of the court and the umpire is about
to declare a win for Serena, and amazingly enough it boomerangs back and lands on the line. Our Captain saves India's maanam, and says "en uyir , en udal ellam tamilke, tamil vaazhga , tamil valarga....."

Monday, March 21, 2005

Observations on the first day at the new workspace

1. People talk about things other than shopping and whos-going-with-who during lunch.
2. There are actually people who grow very long sideburns and smile to themselves looking at a spoon.
3. Work goes on despit head-banging for gangsta-rap.

Friday, March 18, 2005

am without a job now

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Last day of work... Exit interview by HR.

She: 'What are your reasons for shifting?'
Me: 'Better work, better pay, i better leave'.

End of interview.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Nothing seems to matter today. Perhaps it is the cold,perhaps it is the incessant noise of the fountain-water falling on pebbles, sucked in, pulled up and made to fall again. Just had a random thought-how would people react if you tell them all about entropy, and its irreversibility-the second of thermodynaimics. Will they stop the fountain then?

Coming to think of it - why should there be a reason? Thoughts and feelings can exist without reason, just as humans can, and do!

P.S: Is there a theory on why people exaggerate when they write?

Arbit notes from an infected nasopharynx

1. Is narcissism a survival instinct? Especially, for otherwise empty people like me..
2. Have completely lost the ability to admire anybody...
3. What if Copenhagen, and the Scandinavain countries open up for immigration, and a huge chunk of Mylapore moves over. Tambrams in the free-thought capitals...Disaster...

Earth (the dot in the middle) as seen from 3.7 billion miles away by the Voyager 1 spacecraft, on 6/6/1990.

Story has it that Carl Sagan got this idea of turning the Voyager around to get one last snap of earth before it got lost in the vastness of the space. You can read his Ramarajan-Morpheus dialogue here.

I wonder how long will take for humanity to comprehend this level of ludicrity.
Strange is one adjective that I wouldn't give life today. It has been everything but that. Hectic-yes, unfair-probably, and that quality that makes it particularly painful, yes. But not strange.

Days like this make me wonder if i should stop religiously resist belonging.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Ilayaraja deserves a pat on the shoulder.

Was listening to Ninaivellam Nithya, a 1982 movie. Typical 1982 movie situation: hero and heroine have their first night of passion, with a lewd tribal dance of nilgiri tribals as the backdrop.

What struck however was that Ilayaraja had composed this tribal song Kanni Ponnu in Hamsanadam... was mesmerised. Not because it is classical, not because iti is tribal, but because it is tribal, yet carnatic, and both at the same time.

You can get the song(kanni ponnu) here.
Another classic in Hamsanadam: here(thendral vanthu)

Friday, March 04, 2005

Everyone you love either rejects you, or dies.
- Tyler Durden
What started out with a freak lightning, producing pathetic methane-reducing anaerobic nincompoops that almost wiped themselved out by emitting oxygen, then onto prokaryotes, eukaryotes, experimenting for some time with tunicates, testing amphibians, enhancing to reptiles, branching off into dinosaurs and birds, improvising into mammals, giving rise to humans, ultimately evolved to be me...

And here I am, the pinnacle of evolution, staring at the stupid monitor and reading a rediff article thats talks about 'How to make your shirt sexy!'.

Life IS funny.


Thursday, March 03, 2005

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -Stephen Roberts

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Cow scat for the hindu mind

Thier professed obsession with purity, cleanliness and such rot is thrown right out of the window when it comes to cows. Read this.

During our house-warming ceremony, my parents had a cow brought to the new house at an ungodly 4 in the morning, dragging the calf with it, sprinkled cow urine in the house, decorated the cow's ass, and performed puja to its goddamned ass, and i couldn't stop laughing

Our neighbours were even funnier. The woman refused to move till the cow pooped, and she was overjoyed when it did, and she went into fits of religious delirium.

And they say it has medicinal properties.