Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I hate it

I hate it that I have begun whining on my blog.
I hate it that despite what I have led myself to believe, I am still a sick old sentimental fool.
I hate it that at some level, I'd rather be fair than be happy.
I hate it that I'd rather run away than face situations that I might not stand up to.
In short, ladies and gentlemen, for perhaps the first time in my long life, here I am, hating myself.

I assure you, it definitely isn't a good feeling.

The last time I was a sentimental old fool, I lost faith in humanity. Hope I don't get it back this time :)

P.S: I don't take blog whiners well. So, let's all assume that this post never existed.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Just when you think that life can't get worse, life throws at you a lemon. Goddamn you, life.

Break

A mini break. Will be back soon.

Lousy day.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Synopsis at 1539

Almost a year back, I was in coorg for a team outing. Two days in a coffee estate is my idea of bliss. Old-timers might remember how I got drunk and took my manager for a ride that night. But equally interesting was another argument that was centred on relationships.

True to the world's fixation on fidelty, most of my colleagues were of the opinion that a relationship symbolises fidelty and that one can't possibly be in love with more than one person at a time. My colleague and I had a different opinion. We believed that if both of you are fine with it, go right ahead.

What's interesting is, after a year, I still believe in it, despite the fact that I am at the receiving end. Man, am I proud of myself.

P.S: NTLDR issue on my home PC. Will try to solve it, or more to linux.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Life, or something like it- 10

When you can't call a dildo as our enemy that supplants our brothers and get away with it, and in turn get people around you to call it the same, your ideology doesn't stand a chance.

This is where ideologies like libertarianism and radical liberalism fail when communism, communalism and theism succeed. They lack the power to convince people of whatever silly things they come up with and the losers that belong to these ideologies die as members of a fringe group, with the only happiness that their blogs are read by a hundred other morons who'll forget what was said the moment they have a cup of coffee.

Personally, I don't believe in ideologies.

When life throws you someone with an ideology, give him/her access to unlimited online porn.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Synopsis at 12

Rajdeep Sardesai's new channel sounds interesting, and the website is a welcome relief after NDTV and Rediff's. It was a bold move to showcase bloggers as bloggers generally take stands, mostly ridiculous ones. The ones in the cartel lack the tooth and those with tool suck big time. How they manage bloggers' opinions should be interesting to watch.

And rediff yet again proved why it has such a huge following. The classic bell curve model is applicable for human intelligence too, and this is what sustains the social equilibrium. And Rediff and TOI capture most of the curve. This post shows why one shouldn't recruit school students with the political knowledge of a kindergarten child to write political columns.
Was watching Animal Planet. Julia Roberts was doing a documentary on Indonesian orangutans, not very different from Robbin Williams's documentray on spotted dolphins.

Man, she has a HUGE mouth. I wish I could punch her and cave her mouth in. I've always hated her. Everybody who wants others to think that they watch a lot of english movies proclaim her as their favourite; like everybody now says Dr.Strangelove is a classic :P

P.S: My writing can't get worse.

Life, or something like it- 9

When life gives you a pair of scissors, trim your disgusting hair. And don't use the same pair to cut open what I eat.
Stupid disguster.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Fostering stupidity



Certainly did not expect to see this in a mainstream national newspaper.

But then when you can have Fair and Lovely ads and tamil soaps that so actively take awareness and science back by 500 years atleast, I guess this is much better.

BTW, did you know that Yahoo Messenger 7 has hindi audibles? Very cool.

Life, or something like it- 8

When life throws you an electricity bill, pay it. Stupid power consumer.
Google talk sucks(IMO). I hate it when companies think for you and decide that this would be the best user interaction paradigm, and end up imposing their inane paradigm on me, like Google Talk's text chat, lack of chat transcripts and so on. And how the fuck could they think that I'd want to chat with people that are on my inbox?

Lemonade

When life throws you a lemon, you pretend that you didn't see it.

Stupid flashback and some pointless nostalgia


I std. E section


Dug up an old photo. Second from right on the top row - that's me. Third from right, on the bottom row - that's Krittika Lakshmi.

About nine years after this photo was taken, I was smitten. Had a huge crush on Krittika lakshmi. She was quite a stunner by then. Without bothering you with details of all the silly, typical things I did, I'll go directly to the farewell party where we had staged a comedy play that turned out to be quite successful. As I was coming out of the stage, I saw her standing right next to the stage. Asked her if she is interested in having an ice cream, and headed to the nearest ice cream parlour. On the way to the shop, I was making all the right moves(she was too) and was about to ask her out when her dad came and picked her up. That was the end of my biggest crush.

Given an opportunity, I'd love to go back and kill her dad.

What's the point of this bland uninterestingly written post you ask? Insomnia.

Monday, December 19, 2005




The best time I ever had.
Before I left, al mani stole the t-shirt that I was wearing and an amazing top that I had bought for my friend.

And yes, my ass was so much sexier then than it is now.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Raptoral ramblings.

For some strange reason, was reminded of this dialogue. One of my all-time favourites.

பாண்டியராஜன்: என்ன சிர் இது. குதிரை மாதிரி இருக்கு. முன்னாடி போனா
கடிக்குது, பின்னாடி வன்தா ஒதைக்குது
மூர்த்ய்: தம்பி, இப்பொ தானே கல்யானம் ஆசு. அதுக்குள்ள யேன் பின்னாடி வர்ரே?

For those that can't read:
PR: Enna sir idhu, kudhirai maadhiri.. munnadi pona kadikkudhu, pinnadi vandha udhaikkudhu
VAM: Thambi, ippo dhaane kalyanam aachu. adhukkulla pinnadi yean pore?

Bad transliteration


Watched Marilyn Monroe's Bus Stop on Saturday, and she was totally unlike how I had imagined. She wasn't even the perfect buxom-bosomed blonde bombshell like how she was potrayed. She was pale, freckled, couldn't act and had an irritatingly shrill voice. Wonder how people could stand her.


Other movies over the weekend:

  • Full metal jacket

  • The Shining

  • Dr. Strangelove


Well, no comments. Over-hyped. Period!


Wanted to write a review on Monty Python and the holy grail, but realised that I couldn't possibly do enough justice. It is a master-piece.
Letting go isn't tough. Coming to terms that you have let go is tough. When you fail to understand why you let go, and later, whe you question if you had to let go, life gets confusing.

The situation demands a deep statement here. Can't think of any. Will somebody please fill in?

P.S: Nilu, lets go to shiok for therapod massacre and the subsequent inebriation.

Paranoia

Disclaimer: It was a heinous act, a very heinous one indeed.

I don't understand my fetish for disclaimers. Every second statement is delimited on both sides with disclaimers. What is it that I am trying to convey - that I am a fucking liberal with an open view of the world? Why should 'liberals' use so many disclaimers? Don't they ever get tired of it?

I might be wrong, but I think this is a heinous act! Fuck you. Its your goddamned opinion. Why should you be scared that it might be wrong? What if it is wrong? How does the opinion of the dumbfucks who bother to listen you matter anyway? Of course I might be wrong about this! Gosh, people are incorrigble, but then, who isn't.

Anyways, coming to the point, Bangalore has gone nuts. The only people that I happen to know are techies here and they've gone bonkers. Everybody is talking about the BPO murder and that's all they do. And yes, they feel scared, threatened , vulnerable and have become an extremely paranoid lot.

Most of them act as if this was the first crime ever committed and that they've been living in utopia all along. I don't recall people being so agitated when a policeman raped a girl in Bombay or for that matter, incidents in Delhi and Madras.

Is it beacause for the first time, somebody in their kin has been killed and they identify with it, is it because a cab driver is in your trusted circle and when he lets you down, you don't know who else in your circle of trust can let you down next?

I was discussing this with my cousin, and realised that he was of the opinion that women should not work late at night, and this incident only reinforced it. Had the woman not gone to work at this unearthly hour, such things wouldn't have happened. The man only followed his natural urges, raped and killed her. And this cousin is 23 years old, not one from the old school.

He went on to say that all sexual assault cases happen because the women wear suggestive dresses and were asking for it and that the men just couldn't help it. It was their instinct.

To make things worse, there was a power cut on monday morning, and am in a very foul mood. So, fuck everybody.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Burnt out. Need to get drunk.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Scope

It is amusing to listen to parents' list of requirements in a college:
1. What is the scope of the course?
This is one question that drives me up the wall. I tried answering it all earnesty - "Tell him/her to choose sth that s/he is interested in". But most of the desi students(atleast in the south) don't have a clue. So, the next line of answer was "Every field has its Scope. If you are good, you can always do a masters and specialise. If you are no good, you always have the software industry (sic)."

But no, they say. One woman even went on to say "ECE is a good course for ladies".

I have two problems with this.
1. Why can't people say "women". Why shd be always be ladies?
2. Why is ECE a good course for ladies?

Anyways, after a couple of attempts, I decided that it wasn't worth it and just nodded to whatever they ask

"What do you suggest? ECE or CSE? I heard IT does not have much scope now."
"That's a good decision aunty", I said nodding feverishly. "Lots of scope" and walked away leaving them confused.

The only answer is to nuke mylapore. Will solve half the world's problems.

Ode to an extinct theropod diapsid.

Oh you fearsome dromaeosaurid,
thy presence electrifies the celluloid

Hailing from the mighty archosaurs,
quiteunlike anaconda's anal spurs

Megalodon, in comparison, was but a turkey
peed in its pants and ran away like leon trotsky

On your glance mammals scurry,
lest they become rodent curry

Cut, slash and rip hapless mammals,
running fast without sandals

Thou art great, thou art strong
incredibly sexy, without a gong.

Img: Wikipedia

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Recycled pretention

My friend pointed it out and I agreed. This is my most pretentious post ever.


I am opinions personified - i wonder if there is anything that i dont have an opinion about. Being a self-proclaimed atheist, sceptic, misomundist, misanthropist(on and off), misogregist, misophilist, misogaboorist, and miso-anthaksharist among others, i wonder if i can be any other way...

Having said that i fervently hope that by my holding opinions about things doesnt amount to being opinionated or dogmatic, for i hate opinionated people ;)

Was wondering why am i such a social mess? - why is it that when people see the beauty of a sunset, i only see (1/lambda^4)-dispersion of light; why is it that i look at the sky, i feel belittled and important at the same time -belitted by my very insignificance and important because of my part in the teleological cosmic drama; why is it that when people see a flower, i wonder how does it look in the ultraviolet spectrum; why is it that in a song, i listen to that violin piece that nobody bothers to listen or appreciate; why is it that where others reacted with horror on seeing the berg guy being beheaded, i reacted with indifference, saying if you can behead a goat on tv, you can behead a human; why is that when people are happy with a great psychological support by their belief in god and fate, that i should try it the hard way; why is it that when people are blissfully ignorant of their own mediocrity, that i should be aware of my own; why is it that ... well chuck it..

i guess at some point of time you have to accept yourself for what you are; and dammit, i am happy the way i am...

Monday, December 12, 2005

My Ph.D thesis goes by the title Optimising digging one's own grave. I've been working on this topic for a few years now and is considered by most to be the world's leading expert in digging one's own grave, having had much experience in the field.

The paper outlines and for the non-faint hearted, describes in detail the various techniques that one can adopt in effectively digging it in the shortest possible time in the neatest way.

I have been invited to preside over the diggers conference at Oslo, Norway next month and conduct a live demostration. Hoping to see all of you there.
Am an amazing little cook and all too often, I surpass my earlier best dish. Today it was itze noodles. Maggi noodles mixed with ginger garlic paste, pepper, tomato sauce and chilly powder, deep fried and served hot.

Am incredible.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Suddenly, am scared stiff of growing old alone.
Had been out the whole day on a shopping spree with my friend, popularly called german by my friends. Man, people do take their marriage very seriously and put in so much energy into buying the best dress and matching jewellery right down to lingerie.

Listening to Zarathustra on yahoo podcasts. Divine :)

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Life is deep, especially if you have different passwords for each of your mail accounts.

Recycled

Had been to a Patel restaurant in Palo Alto with a bengali guy from HP. The owners were a friendly couple, and the food was reasonably priced too, just that the owner refused to give a bill for the groceries bought...

The owner guy was intolerably garrulous, and it looked like his primary interest in life was collecting demographic info from the customers.

'Where are you from?' - Patel
'India' - me
'Arre bhai... where in india?' - Patel
'Madras' - me
'Calcutta' - Bong guy
'Where are u from?' - me
'I am an Indian!' - retorted the Patel, with a proud smile....
'Whatever part we are from, we are still Indians, arent we?' - Patel mama...
'Suno Kanta... Get some water.. fast...' - Patel.... for i had fainted....

Friday, December 09, 2005

And the most ridiculously insane lyrics award goes to the song Iru vizhiyin vazhiye from the movie Siva.

The line goes,

Male: Un meniyum nilai kannadiyum rasam poosa enna karanam?
Female: Ovvonrilum unai nee kaanalam idhai ketpadhenna nadagam.


Imagine a couple talking along these lines... :)

P.S: Somebody, please point me to an online tamil transliteration site.

Newbie nudes

I recently came across an ameteur nudes community phot sharing site (http://www.newbienudes.com) and got hooked on for a short while till I realised that once you have exhausted 5C3 anatomic combinations, there is nothing more to be done.

Anyways, planning to post a few of my photos too sometime. :D .. nah..!
Just discovered black tea. Mindblowing.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Awesome, isn't it?


This

came from this

through this


and the process took 220 million years :)

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Practical hypocrisy

Citizen Kane left me feeling cold, stunned and for a little while, frightened and enlightened. Kane's inability to truly love anyboy except in his own terms sounded very very very familiar.

I was reminded of a conversation that I had with my friend a few months back on what I'd call practical hypocrisy. I was doing what I do best - blasting stereotypical tambrams and their capillary-mindedness and we came to a rather interesting point on how anonymity plays an important role in supporting liberal candidates in a strongly conservative society.

This led to a discussion on what is called practical hypocrisy. I am of the opinion that if you don't speak what you think, it was hypocrisy, and he was of the opinion that it wasn't. Rather, if you don't believe in what you think you believe, that is hypocrisy - was his point.

To clarify things, lets take a very sensitive topic- say, incest. Yes, taboo on incest has a biologically sound reason, a very sound reason indeed. But, this is under the assumption that you have sex just to procreate, or that you don't use contraceptives. But now, when you have protection and people have sex just for fun, I don't see anything wrong with the concept of incest. But years of social indoctrination has made me unattracted to people I am related to.

To not say publicly that I don't believe that incest is wrong wouldn't amount to hypocrisy, but proclaiming that it is a despicable act certainly amounts to hypocrisy.

But, my friend thinks otherwise. According to him, as long as you know what you believe in, it isn't hypocrisy. You need to maintain an acceptable social image to survive well in the society and not die as a lonely old man. Makes sense to me. But having taken a path, one shouldn't be reluctant to take on the pains that come with it.

Pointless post, I know.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

The UK government is considering raising the miniumum legal smoking to 18 and this guy said this on BBC.

Some people have become too self righteous. Hoping to banish all disease is egocentric in the hope of getting close to immortality. Increase the age of legal purchase to 18, but don’t wave your finger in the face of those who smoke. It is patronising to 25% of our population who do. Take away all ‘fashionably preventable’ disease and you are then left with the spectre of dying of dementia or Alzheimer’s – an end worse than death itself. I would choose lung cancer at 70 than Alzheimer’s at 99.


Sometimes, civilisation leaves you feeling scared. I plan to blow my brains out when I am forty-something. Let's see how things go.

We, the people

Sunday's edition of We, the people had a section on Should censorship be put away with!, and I was quite surprised that this did not lead to a frenzied Hamari paramara thingie.

The problem with a liberal cameraman/editor is that when anybody justifies an argument calling to help hamari parampara, the camera pans to focus on people who are laughing their ass off.

Coming back to the point,I was surprised that nobody raised this point.

I do not believe in censorship; the fact that a few people decide what I see is an insult to my intelligence. However, looking at the current episodes in TN, for instance, I don't think the society is ready for it yet.


I have only one condition to fall for a woman - she should be a liberal feminist. And Pooja Bhatt is one.

Deja vu

I haven't seen Citizen Kane earlier, but all the scenes have a vague familiarity.

Was Citizen Kane remade in Tamil?

Friday, December 02, 2005

l

I tell you, being born as a mammal was a bad, bad choice. I hate hair and sweat, and guess what, bingo!

I hate to shave, trim, crop and clean once every so often. If it was male sexual selection that gave led to women shedding their body hair over time, I hate those prehistoric women who chose men with body hair.
You get your best laughs in bed; in one of those moments while making out when you have a compulsive urge to tell her that you love her, and she says earnestly - You don't HAVE to tell it every time.

:)

Dinosaurs - Earth's first astronauts?

This dude suggests that dinosaurs took to space 65 million years before humans did. His argument looks quite convincing to me. This opens up the possibility that we might one day get dinosaur thigh steak marinated in red wine on mars :)

Quite possibly, dinosaurs were earth's first astronauts and started the space race. We are 65 million years behind.

P.S: Bimbo, I am kidding, of course. Read the article.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Being a parent.

Aekta's post criticising excessive sexuality in movies reminded me of my apprehensions about parenthood.

I dread being a parent; probably the only thing I dread more is being trapped in an all-gaboor room with people playing antakshari all day long. The reason why I dread it so much is because I don't know the first thing about bringing up a child, the type of moral instructions it should or shouldn't get; to bring up a child as an atheist or as an agnostic; to impose a sense of right/wrong at an age when it is too young to form impression; and if doing all this or not doing this will affect the child's psychological and emotional character in any way, and if it does, will I be responsible for it.

Heck, I don't even know if I should feel responsible. My upbringing tells me that I am responsible, and my mind tells me that I am not. Left to myself, I'd bring up the child as a scientifically-minded atheist that doesn't hold anything as right or wrong. But again, will I be being fair to the child. Not that there is anything wrong in bringing up a child in a way that would pput the child at a disadvantage later in its life, but it would ease my guilt.

Sometimes I wonder how parents bring up children the way they bring them up. Do they do what their parents did, their society is doing, or do they apply their minds to it and decide it on a case-by-case basis? Who told parents that exposing children to sexuality at an early age will lead to mental trauma later in life? Or are parents acting on what every other parent says?

How do parents decide to tell their children that, for example, that certain things are right and certain things aren't? What if the parents themselves can't discriminate between what is right and what is wrong?

How do parents tell their children to be patriotic? How do parents do the things they do? Am totally confused... Will somebody please clarify?

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

A girl moved in to my building today and the move provided much entertainment. Her parents told her that she should not bring any guys to the house and how single women are very susceptible to all types of attacks. The girl patiently assured her parents that she wouldn't bring any guys to the place. Not satisfied, the parents called the landlord and told him to ensure that she's safe.

Disgusting! When will indian parents grow up?

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Monty Cooling and Holy crap

Monty Python and the holy grail is the very definition of mustesta. If somebody wants a definition of the word mustesta, don't bother explaining. Just direct the person to watch MPHG. It was like a 90 minutes cooling fest complete with jonny-pult fighting it out in english with tamil magal as an active audience making out with IIT thatha. It was indescribable.

P.S: For those of you that don't understand a word of what was spoken there - I liked the movie :)
If I see one more person transliterating without italicising non-english words, I swear I'll take a flight all the way to your goddamend place and beat the living crap out of you.


Here is some news that you should've known from your kindergarten days: na is not an english word. So, don't write - Its amazing na?

Monday, November 28, 2005

Hoatzin



Hoatzin is a strange bird indeed. The only bird that can digest plant matter, the hoatzin chick has claws on its wings- a reminescent of its dinosaur ancestry from dromaeosaurs.


Am smitten beyond belief.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Women seem to fall for men who were stupid young boys. I have a pick-up story that never fails. Its about how I wasn't able to write a program to generate the fibonacci series back when I was in eighth standard.

And it has never failed. :) Any idea why?

Thursday, November 24, 2005

There was a point in time, not too long back when I believed that booze and porn brought men together. Sounds really silly when you think about it now.


Aishwarya Rai always reminds me of a lizard*, a gecko to be precise, thanks to her saurian chin. Anybody else feels the same way?

*lizard, not a dinosaur.

How about a movies sharing group in bangalore

All you broadband holders and movie collection-holders in bangalore, how do you like to have an informal forum where you can co-ordinate and download movies so that no two people download the same movies? Saves a lot of time and effort, really!

No, this is not a sugguetion for a movie interest group. It is barebones download co-ordination. We can meet once a week or once every fortnight to exchage divx CDs. If interested, post a comment here or send in a mail to ishwar@gmail.com

If there are enough people, we can create a message board and start downloading. What says you? Mind you, this is not a charity group. You better have either a broadband connection, or a good collection of movies to share :)

How I wish we had something like netflix in india.

P.S: If you find it interesting, pls. spread the word around but not too much. A group of more than 10 might get unco-ordinatable.

Comic humour

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

On why Stanley Kubric sucks

"Sucks" is perhaps a tad too strong(Annie Hall's influence, I guess), but this guy really sucks sometimes. Have watched five of his movies

  • A Clockwork Orange

  • Lolita

  • Barry Lyndon

  • 2001, A Space Odyssey, and

  • Eyes Wide Shut



No, I haven't watched Dr. Strangelove and The Shining, but this is a good enough sample space to derive conclusions.

We can very safely ignore Barry Lyndon here. A totally unremarkable movie, and what's worse, a little moralistic too. One of the movies that make Mr. Bean look good.

Lolita was a revelation of sorts. I don't know many directors who can handle a story of this magnitude and not fuck it up, although I felt that the character potrayal lacked a little something(You want to see character potrayal - see Reservoir Dogs, or Virumandi).

2001, A space odyssey wasn't a movie. It was an epic - the very definition of direction and screenplay; the only SK movie that I fell for unconditionally. Those were my comments on his direction. The movie was based on a rock-solid scientific potrayal of space travel, thanks to Clarke. But where he succeeded in predicting science, he failed dismally in predicting the society.

Am reminded of a very interesting advertisement that I saw in one of the very old tamil magazines - one from 1960s(not sure though). It had an article on plastic- the wonder chemical that is going to change the world, lifestyle and bring about a revolution of sorts. Changing the world it did, as predicted, but the article assumed that the society in 2050 will be structured in the same way as it was in 1960s. Paraphrasing the advertisement,
In the year 2050, housewives won't have to take pains to clean the houses, machines will do it for them.

It had failed to foresee a fundamental change in the society, that the role of women won't be what it was in 1960s. In short, social science fiction was absent.

2001 failed in the social science fiction aspect too. The flight-hostesses were still women. Conversations with women in the movie were heavily influenced by typical talks in 1970s. Technically, this isn't a flaw in the movie, but, whatever.

Coming to A clockwork orange, the first half of the movie was brilliant, and so was the depiction of the nascent dystopian society. But the movie failed when you notice the limited number of characters and when you calculate the probability that Alex sees the exact same people that he had tortured. This is plain directorial ineptitude.

Eyes wide shut would have been a much better movie had it not been for Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Stars like steal the movie's thunder. On the whole, it felt more like a Steven Speilberg movie.

To conclude, Stanley Kubric sucks, in the given sample space.
I rock. I so totally rock, so unbelievably uncomparably rock :)

Yesterday was a very satisfying day professionally. In fact, its the best one till date. Thinking of publishing a paper on this novel approach.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

What would you do if you were God?

This was QOTD on TRA. The very answer that I wanted to give, but looks like somebody else thought of the same thing too.


I'd spend six days creating a planet, but while I was doing it I'd plant fake "fossils" and otherwise make it look like the planet had been around for billions of years and that life had evolved slowly over that time. That way, the species I endowed with intelligence and logical reasoning ability that allowed them to improve their lives and build a successful civilization would eventually use those same abilities to conclude that I didn't exist. Then I'd make the smug buggers roast in hell for eternity for their lack of faith. Good times.


Often, it is not coffee or sex, but sarcasm that gives a great beginning to a day.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Will somebody please clarify my questions. Its driving me mad.

  • Did Rama attack Ravana only because Ravana took his girl?

  • If that is the case, how did he justify sacrificing all those vanaras just to reclaim his girl?
    I mean, he is a god, for god's sake, and isn't it a tad too unfair for the vanaras to die so that Rama can sleep with his girl, esp. because he is a god?

  • And please, please, all you bimbos who say it was their karma to die, please visit this site, get a free account and browse free porn. In short, if you can't get a life, get free porn atleast.


P.S: Did Jambavan falsely report that Ravana had WMDs?

Down the path of patriotism

Clarification: I don't believe in patriotism.

Exposition: As a survival mechanism, patriotism is an amazing weapon. It gives people a sense of honour and righteousness. But I guess there are enough people who'd be willing to lay down their lives for their country( and consequently me) that I don't need to do it. The logic is pretty simple.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Beatled.


She said that living with me, is bringing her down yeah.
For she would never be free, when I was around.


When I chose to be rabidly individualistic, I was ready to face its consquences. Its a package deal.


Sometimes you are the crow, and sometimes the statue.
This post on the ubiquitous ambi mama is what I'd call familiarity humour. The post is not funny in itself, the familiarity of the situation is what lends it humour.


I guess I've reached a point in life when most people would say that their sexual apparatus in the head.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Step aside Fight Club and American History X. We have a new winner - Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain

Friday, November 18, 2005

Current mood: Jealousy, raging jealousy.

Am jealous at Quentin Tarantino, for being what he is.
Am jealous at J for being in a city that means the world to me. My hopes of her living my life vicariously got shot in the face.



P.S: Old news, new media :)

This is me trying to be free.

Got the link from Janaki. The best piece of writing that I've read since nausea. Left me stunned. Unfortunately, the other posts lack the panache.

At a lecture on French Cinema yesterday she spoke of roles and poses. There's a diplomacy that comes with adopting roles, she said. Poses are different, more a matter of style. One strikes and discards poses. One plays games. With poses, one knows. But there's a self-censorship to roles - I'm her lover so I can only say or do this, if I say or do that I might cease to be her lover, his wife, her friend, his daughter, her teacher. If I don't play my role she might see me differently. If I don't play mine he might not play his. Or he might go away.

My roles are my boundaries, and I draw them close. Too close. My relationship with this environment is governed by roles - as a student, a class-mate, a twenty-two year old, an acquaintance, a room-mate. Perhaps a temporary friend. I live within these.
And then I complain about limits.

Of course I am other things too, here. I am a daughter who has gone away to study. An inaccessible friend. A distant relative.

A lover of city roads at night.

A page-maker. A website-design-hater. A reluctant reporter.

A body. A critic. A new lover of French films. A guilt-stricken consumer. A spectator.

But these are not roles. I don't adopt them, or become them. These are not poses either.

Sometimes I think a vision of oneself is necessary. Sometimes I think a vision of oneself is most debilitating.

But this is not what I started to say. This is not about oneself. This is about one in relation to another. It's about you and me.

With you I don't want to play roles. I don't want to construct a me for you and hope that you will believe it, or pretend to believe it. With you I want no patterns, no precedents, no diplomacy. With you I only want moments without expectation and without disappointment. Without subterfuge, without judgement, without fear.

With you I want no reason for defence or denial. With you I want to search ruthlessly. With you I want no stakes and no comfort but those of the moment.

How shall we do this? How shall we discard role-play when it's the way we've been taught to negotiate life, all our lives? How do we learn not to feed on visions of ourselves, of each other? How do we learn not to give in to these visions? How will I find the courage to seek what I truly want?

This is me trying to be free.

I can only be free if you let me.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Indulgence is cool.....

Having gone to sleep last night in a reasonably foul mood after watching Van Helsing, I was in a very indulgent mood today and an Iyappa swamy was just the right person to roll in this indulgence. Cutting off the incidental details, I was very happy, not so much to refuse, but to politely reason out why I refused.

The iyappan who was incidentally an auto driver in my local stand was visibly indignant.


Trekking


Continuing the indulgence drive, am heading to Thadiyandamol in the Kodagu region. Trekking all the way up the mountain.


These pictures are from my earlier trekking to donigal over an amazing abandoned railway track. Hopefully, we'll have as much fun as we had the last time. More photos from the donigal trek here.




Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Rare earth hypothesis

Food for thought [link]. I have serious problems with this argument. But that's for later.

The curse of "The the"

You really can't blame these people for choosing the name "The the" for their band. It was in the early eighties, and who would've known that "the" would be a stop word in the internet search engines in the first decade of the next century.

Their 1989 album Mind Bomb was about Islam rising and waging war on Christians, not surprisingly, everybody is talking about The the again.

Sadly enough, google search does not have them in their result, but yahoo search does. Typing "The The" into iTunes doesn't find the MP3s. Looking for The The on Amazon doesn't let you buy the CDs either.

I wonder how much sales theyd've lost because they've got a name that search engines don't like.

It pays to have a good name.

Deriddling evolution - IV

What follows is by far my biggest objection to ID:

Ok, fine! Let's assume assume that evolution is just a theory based on speculations(false), and so you advocate Intelligent Design. What you should realise is that the new theory should be better at explaining and predicting natural phenomenon than the theory it is replacing. It should be a testable consistent theory, atleast more testable than the replaced theory.

I don't see either of the criteria being satisfied. There!

Who asked the questions?

January 1993 - my first accident. First accidents have a strange and callous way of rousing one's primal fears. Brought about by a distraced me on the bicycle colliding with a van driven by an innocent driver who was later beaten up for no fault of his, it gave rise to a moment of blinding fear, followed by a few moments of logical fear, a quick check of limbs and the mandatory crying.

Later that week, resting on my bed with a torn ligament in my left knee that, for a brief period, gave me a lot of gifts, I saw an interview on DD. I neither remember the interviewer nor the interviewee, but I remember one sentence very clearly:
Maniratnam is India's answer to speilberg. Or better, Spielberg is hollywood's answer to maniratnam.

Fast-forward to 1996. Sachin's century against Pakistan in Sharjah. Sachin is India's answer to Bradman.

And now, John Abraham - India's answer to Brad Pitt. Who are these people answering to? Who asked the questions?

P.S: This was kuzh's question on seeing John Abraham's photo in Koramangala.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Not another top 10

Miller gives a neat list of top 10 vestigal organs here. Interesting read. Atlast, I know the reason behind the irritating goosebumps :)


Finally, we have a good alternative to the google-worshipping slashdot here.


Apparently, ants nibbled and ate a diabetic woman's left eye in a government hospital somewhere in eastern india when she was recovering from an operation. When she shireked in pain, the doctors assured her that this is normal post-operation pain. Strange things happen all the time.

Hey, ID-ers, is humanity's colossal stupidity the result of "intelligent design" too? :P


A truly scintillating song, matched only by its monumentally crappy lyrics is iru vizhiyin vazhiye from Siva.

Deriddling evolution - III

Now, the problem at hand is this: Mutation is a random process.Fine. And adaptation involves changes in the organism, either physically or behaviourally, that improves its chances of survival. Fine. How could a purely random process give rise to a mutation at exactly that part of the genetic material that leads to the adaptation!

The answer is that you have overlooked two rather important features of evolution

  • Evolution does not mean survival of the fittest. It means survival of the sexiest.
  • Mutation is heriditary


Survival of the sexiest means that organisms that are most successful in getting a mate, not necessarily the fittest, or the strongest or the fastest are the ones that propogate their genes to the next generation. A classic example of this is the peacock. The feathers of the male peacock is a nuisance to carry around and make the peacock an easy meal for many of the big cats. But evolution has favoured the long tail because the peahens are most attracted to the peacock with the longest feathers. If it was the feathers for peacock, it was brain (intelligence) for humans.

Now, the genetic material of living organisms is very long, and most of it does not serve any apparent purpose. Most of the mutations occur in this dysfunctional part of the DNA and hence its effects aren't observed. Mutation isn't really as rare as people think it is.

Among the mutations that occur in the active part of the DNA, most are harmful in various degrees. These are the mutations that lead to cancer, third nipple and the sixth finger,for example. And obviously these freaks don't get to mate. Since these mutations don't pass on to the next generation. On the other hand, those mutations that are favourable, despite the fact that they occur very rarely, are successful in attracting a mate, and hence gets passed on to the next generation, and from there it is an exponential growth in numbers.

A random process can indeed lead to evolution.

To be continued...

Monday, November 14, 2005

An interesting tale on what preceded Darwin's trip on The Beagle to South Americs. Reminds me of Robinson Crusoe and his attempts at converting Friday to christianity.

Guilt

When software engineers feel guilty because they are rich and the rest of the world is poor, and try to appease themselves by helping poor children, they get downright pathetic.

Deriddling evolution - II

My grandfather was quite a singer in his days. His saturday evening bhajans were supposedly a scream among the septagenerian tambram community in madras. I knew old couples who used to come all the way from mandaveli to attend these bhajans. Among his famous songs was - Kurangilirundhu pirandhavan manidhan, a breather song(between two heavy-weight songs) set in kalyani ragam, that meant man evolved from monkeys . He used to sing this song to me and my brother after the mandatory friday night post-dinner Kandha puranam(The story of Kartikeya). I think he wrote the song himself as I haven't heard it from anybody else(the complete song, not just the first line), and I don't know if he believed in it. The point that I am trying to make here is that he is 85 years old and sings a song on evolution.

People don't understand evolution. You teach them evolution for five years in school, and then when you talk, not about allile mutations, but about adaptation, you are greeted with vacant expressions. And this not from people of the previous generation, but of our generation- the eighties. Ater the intelligent design controversy, I found to my surprise that most people don't understand what evolution and adaptation means. And I decided to jump in to clarify things as I know them.


Before explaining what is evolution, let me clarify what evolution is not.

  • Evolution is NOTsurvival of the fittest, atleast not literally
  • Evolution is not a teleological process, in the sense that it is not directed towards higher intelligence. Intelligence is not the goal of evolution. Only survival is.


This is what the proponents of ID claim

Intelligent Design (ID) is the controversial assertion that certain features of the universe and of living things exhibit the characteristics of a product resulting from "an intelligent cause or agent, as opposed to an unguided process such as natural selection"

In other words, they belive that an unguided process cannot lead to life as complex as we know it. I mean, what's the probability that random mutations can lead from a bacteria to a whale in 4 billion years? Slim, I must admit. But the problem here is that you aren't seeing the whole picture. Its like saying - Whoa, what can cause aurora boreallis? I don't know, so it should be god.

Am breaking up this long post into a number of smaller ones to make it easier to follow.
To be continued....

Sunday, November 13, 2005

One of the reasons why I like buddhism is because its leaders aren't as goddmaned stupid as the rest of them.



And this is why I don't visit desi sites. (The yellow parts indicate advertisements)

Priceless


sfo
Originally uploaded by Ishwar Sridharan.
View of the golden gate from Janaki's room. What would I not give to have this.

The golden gate bridge has a very very special place in my life. Standing at the bottom of the second cantilever, I realised the futility of everything.

Solution to world's woes.

It is my belief that half the world's problems are because people don't get laid enough. People direct their vent-up sexual frustrations on other issues. Ensure that and you solve half the world's problems.

Mind games.

The brain is a strange organ. There are times when I feel convinced that it plays games on me. How else do you explain these situations.

My brain has an almost dysfunctional retrieval mechanism. The probability that I recall, for example, my surname without referring to the driver's license or the PAN card is about a million to one against, about the same probablilty of a person being run over by an extra-terrestrial being addicted to intenet porn. The fact that I don't have a surname doesn't help much.

Under such extra-ordinary circumstances, when you are relising the last bits of onion dosa at lunch, all of a sudden you remember a scene from a tamil drama that was aired on doordarshan more than a decade ago shot with a badly positioned camera that deals with a greek merchant coming to poompuhar for trade and excaliming I've seen many lands in my life as a sailor, but have never heard a language as sweet as tamil and a culture as rich as yours.

The brain does play games.

(Mesg. for blockheads): The reference to the drama was sarcasrtic.
Has it ever happened to you that a single statement by a person you liked a lot pushed that person out of your respected radar and onto the downright bleah category?

Well, it happened to me - a particular statement on culture did the trick. I realise that I am being a mean ass, but can't help it.


Forget the earlier crap.Got carried away :)

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Arbit crap

A couple of weeks back, I happened to watch this show hosted by the famous pseudo-feminist Suhasini called Ladies Special or some such crappy titled-show. Got to know later that this is a weekly puke fest conducted in different parts of Tamil Nadu, talking to the women from rural areas and trying to empower them.

On particular week, it was in Theni district, and the topic was the much discussed Dress code restriction in colleges in TN. An eighteen-year old girl vociferously supported the dress code restriction saying that it is not tamil tradition to wear things other than saris. An elderly man very emotionally exclaimed that women wearing non-traditional dresses corrupt the minds of young men. I guess you get the general idea of how things went downhill from there.

To wrap things up, an overwhelming 60% of the junta supported dress code restrictions.

My parents were of the opinion that AIDS is a white man's disease because of the promiscuity of the west and that indian culture is all that stands in the way of AIDS epidemic in India. Given the statistics, they refused to accept it and went on to say that such dresses aren't appropriate for our culture.

Now, my parents aren't the dogmatic type. They accept logic when presented properly. My dad was of the opinion that women shouldn't dress indecently in public, and that they are free to wear what they like when they come home. Ha, like that would be permitted. Seeing such reaction from them, I fear that the reaction from the rest of the population would be disastrous.Suddenly, I was glad that I am no longer in tamil nadu, and that I don't wish to be a part of this, and was reminded of this story.



Oviraptor

This is one of the sexiest dinosaurs ever.


Full metal jacket, reservoir dogs, 2001 A space odyssey, 21 grams and pulp fiction. This week is booked solid :)
Yesterday, I understood what people meant when they said - niet geschoten altijd mis.

In the process of the long overdue keyboard cleaning, copious quantity of pril was sprayed generously on the keyboard, resulting in a short circuit and I learnt my lesson - t leven is geen krijmkar hè

Friday, November 11, 2005

Village innocence sucks!

Remember those 1970s movies that typically dealt with a village dope coming to the city, getting cheated and finally getting back at them and in the process get the modern intelligent scantily-clad city girl too? They all suck!

I have a message for all such dimwits - if you are dumb enough to flash the I am a simple village schmuck, and am easily deceived air around you, you deserve to get cheated.


Aye dil hai mushkil jeena yahan
Zara hat ke zara bach ke, yeh hai Bombay meri jaan

Kahin building kahin traame, kahin motor kahin mill
Milta hai yahan sab kuchh ik milta nahin dil
Insaan ka nahin kahin naam-o-nishaan

Beghar ko aawara yahan kehte has has
Khud kaate gale sabke kahe isko business
Ik cheez ke hain kai naam yahan


And if you think that song was appropriate, you should consider moving to Bihar.

Tamil & Sanskrit are Flesh & Blood

Check this out. Its a total comedy show.

There is no own skript for Sanskrit,
Hindi script is used to write sanskrit.
But Hindi born after English,

Are you thinking sanskrit born after Hindi???

Tamil is oldest language. Agreed.. Sanskrit also equally oldest language

and both languages are highly dependant on each other


ROTFL.

Am glad that such people do exist. They relieve the tiring monotony of Friday afternoons.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Now you know how I feel




Click to enlarge


This is how I feel when I see people reacting with indifference to my excited chatter about evolution/dinosaurs/just about anything.

:)

Janaki strikes

I feel like I understand life better in some sense when i am depressed or thinking abt depressing things.
-- Janaki.

Deriddling evolution - I

I've heard complaints that breaking down things into basic scientific facts takes the beauty out of one's perspective of life. I was discussing social behaviour with my friend and she was wondering if loneliness and missing people has to do with social conditioning from childhood.

I agree with her that this has to do with conditioning, but I believe that the reasons run far far deeper, down to four billion years of evolution. I believe that social life is a very good example of evolution favouring survival, and that the urge to socialise is in our genes, very much like our fear of falling and fear of the dark. And yes, this is just an urge that has to brought out and conditioned by the society that one lives in.

In my humble opinion, ascribing human bonding to evolution does not take away the beauty of the bond, only enhances it. Would love to explain this at length, but duty beckons. More on this soon.

P.S: She's going to be mad at me for this, but what the heck!

Flashback

Dug up this old post of mine.

Life, or something like it.



I wince, seeing the spreading ink blot on paper: the birth of a baby blue universe, a miniature creation centred on the tip of the stylish upward stroke at the end of e, completing hope. I must have gone into one of my tangential thought processes again.

My overpaid psychiatrist would take a deep breath, cross his legs, loosen down his shoulders and comment that this stylish upward stroke signifies an unhappy childhood. He'd go on to suggest that I get laid and would slyly remark that he could arrange for it.

I used to belive in psychiatrists until I met one. But that doesn't mean anything. I used to believe in conspiracy theories, of reptiloids taking over the world, creation, patriotism, scruples, morals, fidelty, god, God and my science teacher. I no longer do. I used to believe in right and wrong, life on mars, aliens, purpose in life and in myself. I no longer do.

I believed in my science teacher till the time she told me that eclipses aren't caused by giant snakes gobbling up the sun, like my mom, in her infinite wisdom had taught me, but rather by shadows, in much the same way that my mentally retarded neighbour who pees in his pants casts barking dogs on the wall.

I believed in God till I had an accident. I believed in my psychiatrist till he told me that there was nothing wrong with me. I believed in my mom till she told me that I had certain duties to fulfil in life.

What is it then that I believe in? Well, I believe in dinosaus, and yes, that's about it. Here I am, all of twenty five years old, and all that I believe in this wretched existence are things, the last of which died 65 million years back, some of them sporting funky plumages.

I believed in creation till I stumbled onto anthropic principle. I believed in the anthropic principle till I embraced nihilism. I believed in nihilism till I understood nihilism, and now, all that's left are the dinosaurs. Fossils, the size of three-storeyed buildings stand tall amidsr the carcasses of my past beliefs - little independent conscious beliefs that lived, some ephemeral, some for a while, but all of them discarnate, like a ball of light thats light all the way down and out at the other end, incorporeal entities, but somehow sometimes, some of these spectral entities manage to eke out lesser incorporals adding to the pile of bodiless carcasses, a graveyard of dead beliefs at the centre of which lies the equally tenuous gallimimus fossil, letting out triumphant shouts that
Myth : Taiwan is an independent country

Fact : Taiwan is part of a greater country known as The People's Republic of China any arguments against this statement would be foolish and unnecessary. (see history of China)

This feature in the wikipedia article on Taiwam. I like the attitude :)


Please, somebody do the world a favour and burn this stupid fuck.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Afterlast night's Wag the dog, this piece of news sounds really suspicious :)


For some strange reason, this old post of mine seems to be really popular.

Epiphanic omphalos

The probablilty that a random pick of adjectives, verbs and adverbs miraculously form a sentence that makes sense is 3.4E-30. Somebody should inform this to this moron.


In a series where daunting targets have been chased down with the insouciance normally exhibited by those who unexpectedly come into a large inheritance, India pre-empted the event by popping off the moneyed and metaphorical relative, restricting Sri Lanka to 196 in the sixth ODI on Wednesday.


For those of you who know the context, this sounds like pult's aethenium speech :)
Whoa! I just saw a girl in my office who looks exactly like Barkha Dutt. Am smitten.


Why am I obsessed with change?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Saddening

A very very very very sad day for sciece. Read this.

Am skipping my third coffee of the day as a mark of solemn protest.

P.S: Velociraptors and oviraptors are turning over in their fossils when they realised that it wasn't a meteortie that wiped them off, but this higher power guy. Why would s/he/it want to wipe out these amazing creatures? Sick higher power.


I really want to know what Indians think of evolution- whether they believe in it or not. Please care to leave a comment on your take on evolution.
After two days of who-are-you-trying-to-kid work, I think it is time I get my ass back to some serious work.




And yes, thats caffeine.

My fantasy - a novel on alternative evolution

This has been a long-standing secret desire of mine - to write a fantasy novel on alternative evolution - a hypothetical story of how evolution would've proceeded had the freak meteorite not crashed into the earth 65 million years back.

To start with, there would be no mammals. Accept the fact - mammals suck big time(pun intended). I hate hair (probably because I am hirsute) and I find all hairy beasts disgusting. Feathers are cool, way too cool. And everyone knows that the smaller therapods and maniraptorians had fluffy plumages.

Imagine the type of animals that would've evolved from those beautiful dinosaurs. Imagine those animals that would be wandering the earth now. Here are a few hypothetical beasts.


  • Frinch: A pack-hunter, evolved from the velociraptor. This metre-high intelligent carnivore has a dagger-shaped claw on its right hand to slash and kill prey
  • Scolo: A highly intelligent biped omnivorous species evolved from the maniraptorian family. One of the five dinosaur species to develop its own civilisation.

Will continue...

P.S: Am very excited :)

Se7en

Half-way through the movie Se7en, and am spell-bound. This is not the first time that I am watching this movie, and definitely not the first time david fincher left me spellbound.

But the more I watch this movie, the more I understand why David Fincher is god. Anyway, wouldn't want to miss the rest of the movie. Will update this blog after the movie.

P.S: It hasn't been since 2001, A space odessey that I grinned so much while watching the movie :D


Sloth and lust homicides are way too cool :)


Somerset:So, you want to be a champion? People don't want a champion. They want to eat cheeseburgers, play ludo and watch television.


The best dialogue I've ever heard:
Mills:You're no messiah. You're a movie of the week. A fucking t-shirt at best. .


How much more pathetic can it get when the high point of your life is when you watch a movie about a crazy lunatic.

Super-prejudice me!

My prejudice stood out like a baryonyx fossil in the middle of MG Road. Didn't expect this from a newspaper in Pakistan.

I was reminded of a particular edition of We, the people on NDTV where I was surprised to find a group of women from Pakistan without a burqa. Was ashamed at my prejudice then, and now at this.

Monday, November 07, 2005

The only Bush I'd trust is....

Whoa... Exciting anti-bush demonstrations



The only Bush I'd trust is my own.


Can't stop laughing.

So, how big is Jesus?

This dude estimates the size of jesus christ if the bread and wine served at communion is actually the flesh and blood of J.H.C.


If you conservatively assume that these are the End Times and that Jesus will soon be completely consumed, then he weighs twenty million times more than you, and contains ninety-two billion times as much blood. (20,282,528× and 92,000,000,000×).


Cool stats. So now we know that J.H.C has to be bigger than a blue whale. This means that if Jesus is warm-blooded, he will need 400 tonnes of food everyday.

Happy birthday velociraptor




This day holds to each and every one of us, the very meaning of evolution. On this day in 1924 Henry Osborn published the first description of Velociraptor.

Happy birthday raptor.


Onto some cheap unscientific entertainment. See this kick-ass trailer of a king-kong tyrannosaurus rex fight on top of the empire state building.

Kiss ass


The plaque says Against Yahoo! mail, Gmail looks intrusive and Hotmail seems like a stone-age service - Signed, CNET


I have tried out the new Yahoo! mail beta, and it rocks. Currently, its available only for selected users, but the moment it is opened, do try it out. Send me a mail if you want an invite.

That's a cool kick-ass poster IMHO.

P.S: Check this out for what's new with yahoo! mail.

X trivia

In American History X, Ed Norton plays basketball with a jersey numbered 66.

H is the sixth alphabet, and in Nazi terminology, 66 stands for HH - Hail Hitler.

P.S: cvsmani66 had something to do with this?

RA is FS

The Raving Atheist is fucking stupid.

His rabid onslaught on religion is comparable to a bunch of christian fundamentalists attacking other religions. None of it makes any sense. Does he think that this verbiage will change theists, dogmatic or otherwise into dogmatic atheist like himself?

Fucking stupid!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Mom and atheism

Taken from my yahoo! messenger chat history.

[10/28/05-13:41] she: are u an atheist or an agnostic?
[10/28/05-13:41] me: atheist
[10/28/05-13:42] me: depends on who you call on atheist.
[10/28/05-13:42] she: atheist is one who challanges the existence of God
[10/28/05-13:43] me: i don't challenge the existence of god. i just don't care.


I remember having a conversation with my mom during eleventh standard. Those where the days when I was naive enough to believe in atheism, or for that matter, believe in something. After arguing with her for a couple of hours, I managed to convince her that there was no god, or so I thought.

As I beamed a euphoric smile and was about to ask for another cup of coffee, she said in a calm and dignified tone - What you say sounds right, but I am comfortable with the way things are. I don't want to change them, and proceeded to perform a puja.

I was furious then, but I admire her now. She had the maturity that I can only dream to possess.


Clarification: This post does not mean that I am a theist. A lot of people have misinterpreted this. I wonder how. This post is as clear as an azure sky of deepest summer.

"We see many nuclear families stopping with a single child. So, a school may have to provide free education to a few hundred single girl children. To make up the loss, schools will either reduce teacher pay or increase fee for boys, which is discrimination against boys," he adds.

Making a case for a grant component from the Government, V. Venkatachalam, CBSE school principal, says that because of free education "parents will seek to shift more girl children from government or aided schools to our institutions. Government schools will see reduction in strength."


Stupidest pieces of argumemt that I've ever come across. Surely, these people must be from mylapore :P

These ppl should fight purely on economic grounds to stop making a fool of themselves.
I am a rogue wanderer on the winding river of life, searching my shadow self.

I am jack's lost shadow.
A few months back, during a conversation nilu said "When men fall, they fall".

Now, I see that when men unfall, they unfall.
I was wondering if I had this condition of not being able to use the toilet at home, and wait till I go to the workplace to use the restrooms.

This long weekend confirmed the suspicions :)



Did anybody else have a crush on the little mermaid, or was it only me?

Of movies, miasaurus and mambalam

I have a recorded history of being incredibly dumb. I was three by the time I started saying amma, appa so much so that my mom and most of my relatives had come to the conclusion that I was mentally retarded. It was another year by the time I started making up reasonably complex sentenes.

How many people do you know who have took two attempts to clear L.K.G.? Your faithful narrator holds this unenviable record. The L.K.G. and U.K.G. progress reports are proofs of an established blank mind. I did not understand algebra till eighth standard, trigonometry till my eleventh and electronics till date.

When I watched the likes of The shawshank redemption and Se7en a couple of years back,I failed to understand and appreciate the movie. But Jurassic Park and Forrest Gump, I did.

Watching these movies now, I can't understand how I couldn't have appreciated these movies at 22. Shawshank redemption's brilliance took my breath away with a punch in my gut, and it was not the climax or the outcome of the movie, but the sheer power of narration and Tim Robbin's passive face.

I didn't intend to see Amercan History X at all. I don't like movies that preach or idolise, be it an ideology or a moral. The IMDB plot outline outlined such:

A former neo-nazi skinhead (Norton) tries to prevent his younger brother (Furlong) from going down the same wrong path that he did.

and had it not been for the fact that I went out and took the trouble of buying an ethernet card just for increased download speeds, I don't think I'd have watched the movie. I loved the non-preachy way in which the realisation is potrayed.

Overall, I am glad that I get to watch these movies, without which my weekends would've instilled suicidal tendencies in me.

P.S: I am not gay, but this guy is something.

Friday, November 04, 2005

A hindi family came in fully dressed to one of the infinite Shanthi Sagars in Koramangala for breakfast. The men were dressed in white pyjama and kurta and the women were draped in gaudy saris and were chattering out loud.

The highlight however was the teenaged girl in the family. She was battling hard to eat her masala dosa with a spoon. When suggested that she is eating a dosa, and not pasta and that the best way to go about is eating a dosa is with hand, she gave her dad a look that is usually reserved for capillary-minded people, and said Ewwwww...

I had a good laugh and ended up spilling coffee on my t-shirt

Did you know - II

Did you know that bandicoots are marsupials?


Actually not, I was mistaken
I am a social disaster. Anybody who knows me for more than a minute and a half would vouch for that. This blog started out as a way to express myself in ways i couldn't have and wouldn't have otherwise.

My initial posts were all about a confused person trying to find out the reason behind my existence. Then,it moved on to humour, a few good ones at that.

A cursory look at my recent posts reveal much bitterness towards everything- from mylapore to mitochondria; from creationists to cassini.

Do I no longer have moderate thoughts? I wonder...

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Reasons for proselytisation to FSM

"Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear nushûz, admonish them, and (then) leave them alone in the sleeping-places and (last) idribûhunna'(beat); then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great." (Qur'an 4:34 English translation: MH Shakir)

I wonder why this dude's wife didn't slap him so hard that his optic nerve got severed, and kick his groin so hard that he couldn't masturbate.

FSM encourages women to do all this.

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Kansas had it coming. After nuking mylapore, kansas is next in line. But wait, this guy has a better idea.

A bunch of neo-neanderthals* want to teach Intelligent design in school, and the US State school board has put it to vote instead of farting on their faces.

If you can teach ID, why not teach FSM, the theory of the Flying Sphagetti Monster, worshipped by the Ecumenical Church of FSM.


We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

ROTFL.....

I believe in the FSM. Do you?

Neo-neanderthals: People living in the 21st century who want to take us back to the Neanderthals age.


A really good article on Flying Spaghetti Monster religion, aka Pastafarianism that talks about its fundamental beliefs and the 8.4 fold-path.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............

Fight Club in Hindi

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............

Starring sunil shetty.....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...............

Of herbivorous desis and how they make me sick

Last year, I belonged to the herbivorous desi fraternity in the United States and contributed immensely to the volume of pointless crib that was characteristic of a desi attending a pizza party where they served pepperoni pizza and corona. The desis(myself included) used to monopolise the nachos-salsa table and zealously ward off any white or black skins with a vicious snarl and hugging the nachos container close to our bosoms like our lives depended on it.

California, particularly Palo Alto being what it is, I guess, would have seen its share of crazy desis, and oft wondered if this phenomenon was in any way related to the moon. The only other phenomemon of such strangeness was the werewolves-full moon phenomenon. What made the otherwise-docile and subservient desis who work for dirt cheap rivalled only by mexicans from across the border and who demonstrated their social networking by living in crowded ghettos snarl at the very idea of losing their nachos puzzled many non-desis.

Not surpisingly, there was much bloodshed last week on the very issue of herbivorous desis. The desis complained that they did not have any vegetarian main course dishes, and the non-desis simply couldn't understand what the big fuss was about.

Predictably, the desis took up the "equal-opportunity-employer" flag, much to their own ridicule. This is one of the most logical arguments that I had seen.



Seriously... Get over yourselves...

I decided years ago that I don't eat:

STOLLEN
CHOCOLATE CHIP BREAD PUDDING
Whiskey Carmel Sauce
PEACH COBBLER
APPLE COBBLER
DRISCOLL STRAWBERRIES
Sour Cream and Brown Sugar
TARTS & PIES*
RASPBERRY CRANBERRY LINZER TART
MINCE MEAT PIE
PECAN PIE
PUMPKIN TART
CHOCOLATE CREAM PIE
SERVED WITH CHALICES OF WHIPPED CREAM
HOLIDAY SWEET BITES & SIPS*
BROWNIES
CHRISTMAS COOKIES
GINGERBREAD MEN
EGG NOG
SPICED APPLE CIDER
COFFEE AND TEA

Wait a minute!!! They don't serve any dessert that I like. I should go complain to someone about it and have the menu changed because they don't serve any desserts I like. In fact I, I should go one step further and complain to a list of people that could care less that *I* have *CHOSEN* to exclude *myself* by picking a diet that is *far less* common than what most
people eat. Adapt or don't go...

You know the menu now; if you don't like what's on it... Eat before or bring some veggie dogs. I doubt they will confiscate them at the door and since I know you have a job... I highly doubt you will go hungry if you don't eat.

I went to a vegan party once. I didn't like the food. Know what I did? (Hint: It wasn't complaining to the host about the free food they went out of the way to serve)

I simply didn't eat.

It fascinates me how many people think the world should bend over backwards to accommodate their individual intricacies (especially when they chose to create them).

If you bought a big-rig, would you expect your company to build a special parking spot for you too?

I don't play Basketball or Volleyball and think that it's unfair of your company not to have a high jump pit.

I made a pact years ago that I would never use another 4:3 monitor again... The company should honor that and get me a nice new Cinema display for my BSD box.

I prefer Gateway over Dell, the company should be obligated to change their contract.

I prefer spring water to reverse osmosis and will be submitting a demand shortly.

Climbing stairs while those on the first floor don't have to is unfair, we all need 1st floor cubicles.

I don't drink beer and think there should be an option during Octoberfest to get beer mugs -OR- souvenir spoons. Further I would like to complain to the German government for not providing an alternative celebration.

No employee can celebrate Valentines unless we are all forced to provide a Valentine for every employee.

We should not have shirts unless they come in sizes large enough for the largest employee and small enough for the smallest employee.

NO GROUP can have a celebration, lunch, outing or launch party without bringing the rest of the company along. This includes executive shin-digs as it's not fair if we are not included.

Life isn't fair and there are things to get concerned about more pressing than problems you choose to create and that have simple workarounds.



A few more "smart guys" said:

Last time I checked there was plenty of grass in between the buildings.
Snack away! : )

Just wanted to add that many believe that it was the eating of meat that allowed our early ancestors to develop large brains. I'm sure a lot of people have heard of this on this list, and some will refute it. But I say: eat meat -> get large brains! Go omnivores !!


But the highlight was this comment.
I like vegetarians.
They taste good.

Its time the desi community realises that it shouldn't expect people to go out of the way to appease them.

Lakme

Did you know that the origin of the brand name "Lakme" is this:


Lakmé is an opera in three acts by Léo Delibes to a French libretto by Edmond Gondinet and Philippe Gille, based on the novel Rarahu ou Le Mariage de Loti by Pierre Loti. First performance: Opéra Comique, Paris, 1883.

The story concerns a girl Lakmé who lives in India with her father. She falls in love with a British man in the military service and consequently displeases her father.

Lakme is french for Lakshmi.

Four days in Madras - II

I heard many interesting stories from the many autorickshaw rides in madras. All accusations of overcharging on the part of the auto drivers are usually met with a dismissive glance or with a complaint that the traffic police demands way too much bribe from the autos.

The driver who took me from Sathyam to Theosophical society had a rather interesting god-father type story. A couple of autodrivers that he knew changed the number plates one night and broke the legs of a few traffic constables in various parts of the city.

I am surprised that the madras public isn't doing anything to fight this menace.


At The Park in Nungambakkam, I had the best wine that I had tasted till date. It did not come cheap. I had to pay Rs.260 as tax.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Four days in festive Madras

Wanted: A loaded grenade launcher and an auto stand

I am pissed off, fuming, angry and exhausted. I wish that all the auto drivers in Madras drop dead and all potential auto drivers die of colon cancer. Those who survive the colon cancer, get bone marrow cancer and die a very painful death.


One auto-driver gave a moving story of oppression and the subsequent fight-back. More about this later.


My cousin is getting married, and the groom's family has asked for a huge dowry, and worse, my cousin's family is giving it. I feel like going to the marriage and puking on the dias. But then, I choose not to care


Internet Cafes in madras have this annoying policy of asking you to remove your footwear before entering the shop.

Friday, October 28, 2005

A Story with a Moral

A well-known (animal) behavioural psychiatrist once conducted an experiment to understand the extent and impact of social co-operation.

He had seven monkeys in a cage. All the monkeys were well-behaved, toilet-trained, god-fearing, educated, moralistic, mylapore, sorry mozambique-born monkeys. The cage was two metres high and tied to the ceiling was a juicy banana.

Everytime one of the monkeys tried to reach the banana, all the monkeys were drenced in cold water by an external observer. Soon, the monkeys learnt that whenever you try to reach out for something up there, you get drenched, and whenever one of them tries to get smart, the others pulled him down, and soon none of the monkeys reached for the fruits above.

One day, one of the monkeys was replaced by a new monkey, and the water-thrower was fired. But, as expected, when this monkey tried to reach for the banana, everybody else pulled him down. Now, our new monkey did not know why, but in time, he got used to it.

Slowly, over time, the seven original inhabitants of the cage were replaced with the new monkeys and none of the monkeys let the others reach for higher things, even though they did not know why.

We all know the monkeys, don't we!

Source: Sundar



Time for dino lessons.

Gallimimus
Meaning - Chicken-mimic. One of the most intelligent dinosaurs, and certainly one of the fastest
I wonder if it was as tasty.

Struthiomimus
Meaning Ostrich mimic
Nothing remarkable. The image shows a profile-comparison of an ostrich and a struthiomimus


Ornithomimus
Meaning Bird mimic.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Mylapore and penguins' sexual orientation

Sullivan mocks humanity's imposition of anthropo-centric morals on animal behaviour.


The keepers at Berlin’s Bremerhaven zoo were frustrated for years wondering why their penguin couples weren’t producing any eggs. After DNA testing they discovered that three of the five pairs had the avian equivalent of “civil partnerships”.

No word yet on progress. But German gay groups were outraged. How dare the zoo try to reprogram gays? “The central question is, are our penguins really gay or is it simply a lack of opportunity?” the zoo keeper told Der Spiegel. “The males have had the opportunity but haven’t done it.”

In New York’s Central Park zoo, a gay penguin marriage has even become literature. Roy and Silo were two male penguins who showed no interest in the females, appeared devoted to each other, built a nest together and at one point even found a pebble they decided to sit on.





On a related note, at the pterodactyl's house last night, I saw the the much-acclaimed Jungle book.Probably the best in the animated movies genre, after Ice Age and Hishomita, a japanese animated porn.
Last night, on my way back home, I happened to overhear this conversation


Ponna karai ethittu, paiyanu foreign-ukku amichutta namma kadamai mudinjadhu.



This man still hasn't understood human beings. Such a pity.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Invoke Führer, and lose the battle

One reason why I like the online world is because of the huge amount of free porn. Other reasons include dinosaurs and the fact that you can scorn at somebody online without seeing the other person's reaction.

Somewhere along the line comes the fact that the online world is so much unlike the real world.

"So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but
beyond that, I don't recommend it." - Bill Waterson


Personally, I don't agree with Bill. There is food, and there is sex. Other than that, I don't recommend the real world either.

Godwin's law is one example why the online world is so goddamned fascinating.

Godwin's law (also Godwin's rule of Nazi analogies) is an adage in Internet culture that was originated by Mike Godwin in 1990. The law states that:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.


There is a tradition in many Usenet newsgroups that once such a comparison is made, the thread is over, and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost whatever argument was in progress. Godwin's law thus practically guarantees the existence of an upper bound on thread length in those groups. Many people understand Godwin's law to mean this, although (as is clear from the statement of the law above) this is not the original formulation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law

In search of the elusive indian root.

It is "finding the roots" time again. Every year in November, India goes mad searching its roots. Men, women and children from all parts of the country single-mindedly throw themselves at the noble cause of root-digging.

Today is ethnic-wear day in my company, and someone composed a poem that says

Let's get back to our roots
We are all Indian offshoots


Sounds creepy to me.

Every year people find their roots in November only to lose it again. And the hunt spills over to the next year.

Kid's play

My friend's daughter turned three last week, and her dad gave her a few books on dinosaurs. Despite my in-toto aversion to kids, I was amazed when she claimed that she was a pterodactyl and went on to let out a barrage of dinosaur species names, a few of which I never knew existed.

Man, I am impressed, considering the fact that my first words were appa, amma, when I was three!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Bangalore biological reserve


Image hosted by Photobucket.com


This was on Old Madras road after yesterday's rains.


This guy has acquired interesting skills.

suddenlee

Never knew that my livejournal alter-ego would be a cool sexy woman.

Nuke Myalapore Campaign - II

Nuke Mylapore



Many many people have questioned my rationale behind my nuking mylapore. I strongly feel that an act as benevolent as this one doesn't need reasoning. Like Kamal said in Nayakan - Naalu perukku nalladhu nadandha thappillai. Who are the four people - me, and there would be three more people for sure.

If this reason isn't good enough, here are a few more:

  • The sheer capillary-mindedness of most of the mylaporeans

  • Now, that isn't fair. Most mylaporeans I know are cheerful young liberals, a tad too idealistic, but very very agreeable.

    I grew up in Mambalam, a lower-middle class water-starved tambram locality united by moderate povertyof the eighties, and I hated the rich snobs from Mylapore, especially those that went for tennis classes and swimming classes in summer. Those high society children from P.S. Senior secondary school who used to talk about the cricket coaching classes in school were my childhood's bete noire The clean sweeping roads where children played cricket with tennis balls in mylapore were in sharp contrast to the narrow, dirty and crowded lanes where i played with rubber balls.

    Gradually, after sporting interests gave way to more prurient adolescent pursuits, my obsessive hatred of tennis-ball clad mylapore bourgeoiese faded away to obscurity, i.e. until recently

  • Such capillary-minded people's views on what is right and what is wrong makes me puke all over their cultured asses. Over time, I have come to make a generalisation, a false one at that, that mylaporeans are a bunch of prude, cynical, pot-bellied people who take pride in their pot-bellied genetically-restrictriced pedigree. So? sue me!


The conservative views of an uneducated man from Tanjavur on culture, philosophy and life are understandable(no condescension here).The same views coming from an educated 40 year old mama makes you wonder if these things are for real.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Outlook on IIPM

Outlook has published an article about the recent IIPM-desi blogosphere spat, taking a condescending view of the immature blogging community.


The Indian blogging community (or blogosphere, as it likes to call itself) is essentially a bitchy, self-indulgent and an almost incestuous network comprising journalists, wannabe-writers and a massive army of geeks who give vent to their creative ambitions on the internet. Given that the average blogger-age is 25 years, it's clear bloggers love to indulge in hearty name-calling and taking college-style potshots at others. This is probably why some of them get into trouble.



1. I think the writer needs to take a course on basic journalism. He seems to be reporting exactly what he sees and hears. That's not journalism.

2. What he says about the desi blogging community is right. It is a self-indulgent army consisting mostly of people with an IQ of 3.