Thursday, November 30, 2006

Yet another Orkut bleah

Did anybody notice the "our mutual friends" div on your orkut page?



The orkut programmers need to get their grammar sorted right!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Holy crap!


The next time somebody says s/he wants to have a child, show her/him this.
On second thought, why the fuck should they care.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Citizens, you can't believe or not believe in evolution. It's not Big foot.



You can either accept it or not accept it.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Suddenlee officially endorses XKCD

Thursday, November 23, 2006

CToD

Here's your 'Conspiracy theory of the day'



ISI has setup a camp in Colombo and is splurging money to promote linguistic jingoism in TN. The *kazhagam* parties are all funded by ISI - culturally, ideologically and monetarily.


Near theosophical society, madras


Ok, am too bored to continue.

Today, I fainted out of sheer boredom.

Woke up later. Cannibals are interesting.

The scars of happiness

...



Damn, I'm getting old.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

yblr - Time to rethink

yblr - Time to rethink

1. This guy at work walks up to me and says, I remember only interesting mails on yblr, and I don't know who you are.



2. Two new kids are taking yblr[1] to abymssmal depths.



Will unsubscribe after breaking into the top 5.



P.S: If you don't like dinosaurs or evolution, or if I don't get to sleep with you, the chances that you'd find me interesting are as bad as my coding skills.



[1] Yahoo Internal mailing list





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In search of the elusive Indian root (repost)

Something I posted a year back. Wondering what'll it be this time...



It is "finding the roots" time again. Every year in November, India
goes mad searching its roots. Men, women and children from all parts of
the country single-mindedly throw themselves at the noble cause of
root-digging.



Today is ethnic-wear day in my company, and someone composed a poem that says



Let's get back to our roots

We are all Indian offshoots





Sounds creepy to me.



Every year people find their roots in November only to lose it again. And the hunt spills over to the next year.



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Dream up a dinosaur

1. Did life decree that you live to the south of the equator in a land ruled by marsupials or avians?

2. Does your pick-up line repertoire have only dinosaur jokes?

3. Did you replace your door knob with latches for the fear of raptor attack?

4. Do you hate Julia Roberts



Then, this contest is for you. Write up your most fantastic ideas of fossil finds that'll shape palaeontology.

Here's mine:



Formiphagosaurus ishwarensis member of Therizinosauridae, with long, strong forearms, specialised in breaking down anthills.


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Depressing

"Humans can't write thread-safe code. It's simply beyond us"

-- Rasmus Lerdorf





Depressing stuff.





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Monday, November 20, 2006

The problem with science is that it doesn't give a shit about your theories. Pray your arse off or speculate to the point of dialysis, you came from apes, and your species will go extinct.

My search history

Holy crap, this guy stole my search history. Or, wait... I use the *other* search engine.
Am writing a sequel to the Lord of the Rings.
Apparently, the ring was BCP-compliant, and Sauron had hid the backup ring under the tree at Minas Tirith and that's the real reason why he attacks Gondor, not to believe in some silly old man's tale of conquering middle earth. He wanted to get his lady, the spider :| , the ring. That's what the story is about - it's a passionate love story about a man who has lost his corporal existence(read, his dick), and a frigging huge spider.

Meanwhile, Sauron had quite sadly forgotten his BCP-certification and promptly dies after Frodo drops gollum into the volcano, after somehow being unaffected by its noxious fumes. The last I saw, hobbit women had breasts, suggestting they are mammals, and mammals breathe.

Anyway, Arragon finds this out and gets hold of the ring and goes back to sleeping with the elvish woman with background lighting. Little does he know the Gandalf covets her too, and they start fighting. Meanwhile Legolas and Gimley turn gay. The plot also involves special effects in New Zealand and grunting orcs.
I aspire to be slightly less boring than a super-sized hay ball.

Monday, November 13, 2006

This is my life after death.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Wish I was born a bottlenose dolphin. Protected and cute, with a lifetime of frolicking; and I don't have to hear people spew their misunderstandings on evolution.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

After I die, I want my corpse to be dropped off on an asteroid.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Dravidian dino to kick aryan arse

My fellow repressed brothers,

They can take away your land,
But not your souls,
Shove their language
Up your arse holes.

Fear not, dear separatists
for the mighty dravidian dino
is all set to rip aryan arse.

May I present Dravidosaurus.

Dravidosaurus (meaning "Dravidanadu lizard", Dravidanadu being a region in the southern part of India where the remains were discovered) is a genus of prehistoric reptile which was once thought to be the last surviving member of the Stegosaur or "plated dinosaurs". With an estimated length of 3 metres (10 ft), it would have also been the smallest member of the group.



P.S: Obviously written in jest

Monday, November 06, 2006

Life, or something like it.

Life, discounted inexorably. Now at 60% off.

Rush, if you want to. It doesn't make a difference.
Somebody once said, 'The wordless is verbose'. He then went on to write 'Life, Raptoral Atavism and Everything'.

Thou shalt fight vada mozhi tyranny

America has 'astronauts', Russia has 'consmonauts' and China, its 'taikonauts'. And now, India is planning to send 'gaganauts' into space.

India is searching for a Sanskrit-based word for a spaceman as its top scientists draw up plans for the country’s first manned mission into the cosmos.


I say, why not vinvelinaut or champanaut. Gaganaut isn't representative of indian sentiments

:P

The Buffet Intellectuals

We'll all be called by a name now - you and me, and the nerdy little girl with mushroom glasses, the bearded man with bleary eyes in koshy's, pushing aside his carefully unkempt hair. We, the nation, shall henceforth be called - Buffet Intellectuals .


A Buffet Intellectual is a less disparaging term than the more cynical pseudo intellectual, which has seen far more use than required. The term does not make any kicks about the actual intellectual's ability, but in the dilettante attitude of the individual. The random samplings of life that such a person goes through leaves him (or her) a veritable gold mine of random conversations but very little to seek them out for.

To identify a buffet intellectual is very easy - just start talking about something in the abstract and watch the classical allusions roll by. But the easiest way is, of course, to peek into the bookshelf. In the midst of all the professional books, you'll find books about Evolution and Dinosaurs. Or half a shelf of books about Quantum Physics and the Universe. Look more closely and you'll even find books about Economics and Social orders. Heck, you may even find a couple of books about Human Psychology.

A nibble here, a nibble there and not a mouthful anywhere. Such intellectual butterflys are curiousities who rarely achieve anything by such half-hearted dabbling. What is needed is focus and perseverance - not two days' worth of everything.


Sunday, November 05, 2006

foobar and SNAFU

Unlike what the american army wants you to believe, foobar and SNAFU aren't derived from american military slang. Here's the true etymology, as true as they come

1. FOOBAR
Comes from the Dead Sea Scrolls[1] that starts
"Phu, Bar, Mitzvah...".


2. SNAFU

This is a difficult one. Comes for the Zoroastrian exclamation, who, as you know, are a pious lot.

" Snahr-ah(f)ura "

that loosely translates to "What, by the scat of the divine beings is this?", or roughly, "Holy shit"
The american army picked it up from the second world war refugees.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Ever read a treatise that necessitated a jaw replacement and a new table? Here's one - All Tomorrows by Nemo Ramjet.

Suddenlee's talisman

I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test:

Turn on the television and switch to CNN-IBN, just in time for Face the nation by Sagarika Ghose. Tell yourself that life hasn't been so bad. For starters, you weren't born as dumb as her. In case you were, atleast it wasn't so cruel as to place you in limelight for a billion people to see your dumbness on screen. In the extremely improbable improbability that life indeed had done this to you, atleast you didn't make a GODDMANED FOOL of yourself.

Then you will find your doubts and your self melting away.
What's common to Styracosaurus, Gorosaurus and Vastatosaurus rex.

Loser, don't search for the answer.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Being a Cling-on

I didn't belive when they said I was a cling-on.

But, holy mother of mofo jesus, I am a klingon.

Language, it seems, is not without its sense of irony.