Sunday, February 26, 2006

Varun alias H.Ramasamy

Sidin, in his now very-famous oft-quoted classic summed up quite clearly the travails of single south indian men.

And mashter[1], in his own style ranked coolers in the order of coolness of their names and the implied scale of single women being attracted to people with these names[2].

nomenclature scale
1:surea figura thethiduvan
10:explains it all

bharathwaj ravichandran-6
neelakantan rajaraman-8
srivatsan srinivasan-9
ishwar sridharan-5
vaidyasubramanian chandranshekar-22
shyaamprasad subramanian-9
ramprakash radhakrishnan-17
grurprasad subburaman-9
pradeep johnson-1
rajsundar elangovan- perfect 10
arvind ramanan-3

any other ranking here? the names explains everything

Despite the distinct possibilty of having to suffer massive brain haemorrage and your appendix jumping up and choking your third aorta leading to a particularly painful death, I urge you, for a moment, to imagine yourself having the name Varun alias H.Ramasamy

Sidin and mashter, good as they are, can't quite capture the agony. Your school certificates say Varun alias H.Ramasamy, the supervisor at the engineering entrance examination asks for your identification card, obviously quite suspicious of somebody having sucha name, goes back home and tells his wife after having noiseless sex to not wake up his nosy parents and sleeping chilren, talks about the horrible sadistic parents who did this to their son and resolve only to keep Shahrukh khan's identity in his movies to their future children. Rahul and Raj seem quite acceptable after Varun alias H.Ramasamy.

You join engineering, and the lecturers call you "varun eleyes" assuming that you are a born-again christian and getting confused when you wear vibhuti to the class.You have to start every exam with this name, and those instances when you decide to write the name at the last, you forget it and end up writing the exam all over again. The hostel warden assumes that alias is your surname and stubbornly refuses to call you ramasamy.

And when you want to end it all and decide to commit suicide, you imagine the next day's newspapers carring the news Varun alias H.Ramasamy found dead in the hostel room, go home, kill your parents and go to jail.

All this is because your mom saw a 1980s dilip movie, on who she had a crush on, and decided to name you in his honour. Life is funnny.

[1] For non-coolers, mashter is the official cook of the wing.
[2] Pay special attention to Vaidyasubramanian Chandrasekaran and Ramprakash Radhakrishnan.


anantha said...


Nilu said...

and did you know that he is getting married? (I think he already is). No koluthal - serious info. Source Kumbaks.

sudha said...

hey un paer origin/meaning reveal pannu - easily 10 aayidum :)

Ishwar said...

nilu, so is envan da avan

sudha, shhhh!, shhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Nilu said...

waaaaaaaat ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

evan da avan = marrying ignored child. mani is best man.

Anonymous said...

It is Guruprasad Subbaraman ! and What about Ananthanarayanan Kootala Subramanian?
Note: Not Anti Subramanian ( that might not help !! But anyway..);)

- Guru

anantha said...

Guru: Machi.. things look rosy for me da.. I might have to jump out of the RC club soon. And it anyways looks like I am the last member in it, esspecially with the likes of Nilu getting laid and all... ;) Ok wait, inspite of that, Nilu might still be in da club!