I hate it

I hate it that I have begun whining on my blog.
I hate it that despite what I have led myself to believe, I am still a sick old sentimental fool.
I hate it that at some level, I'd rather be fair than be happy.
I hate it that I'd rather run away than face situations that I might not stand up to.
In short, ladies and gentlemen, for perhaps the first time in my long life, here I am, hating myself.

I assure you, it definitely isn't a good feeling.

The last time I was a sentimental old fool, I lost faith in humanity. Hope I don't get it back this time :)

P.S: I don't take blog whiners well. So, let's all assume that this post never existed.

Just when you think that life can't get worse, life throws at you a lemon. Goddamn you, life.

Break

A mini break. Will be back soon.

Lousy day.

Synopsis at 1539

Almost a year back, I was in coorg for a team outing. Two days in a coffee estate is my idea of bliss. Old-timers might remember how I got drunk and took my manager for a ride that night. But equally interesting was another argument that was centred on relationships.

True to the world's fixation on fidelty, most of my colleagues were of the opinion that a relationship symbolises fidelty and that one can't possibly be in love with more than one person at a time. My colleague and I had a different opinion. We believed that if both of you are fine with it, go right ahead.

What's interesting is, after a year, I still believe in it, despite the fact that I am at the receiving end. Man, am I proud of myself.

P.S: NTLDR issue on my home PC. Will try to solve it, or more to linux.

Life, or something like it- 10

When you can't call a dildo as our enemy that supplants our brothers and get away with it, and in turn get people around you to call it the same, your ideology doesn't stand a chance.

This is where ideologies like libertarianism and radical liberalism fail when communism, communalism and theism succeed. They lack the power to convince people of whatever silly things they come up with and the losers that belong to these ideologies die as members of a fringe group, with the only happiness that their blogs are read by a hundred other morons who'll forget what was said the moment they have a cup of coffee.

Personally, I don't believe in ideologies.

When life throws you someone with an ideology, give him/her access to unlimited online porn.

Synopsis at 12

Rajdeep Sardesai's new channel sounds interesting, and the website is a welcome relief after NDTV and Rediff's. It was a bold move to showcase bloggers as bloggers generally take stands, mostly ridiculous ones. The ones in the cartel lack the tooth and those with tool suck big time. How they manage bloggers' opinions should be interesting to watch.

And rediff yet again proved why it has such a huge following. The classic bell curve model is applicable for human intelligence too, and this is what sustains the social equilibrium. And Rediff and TOI capture most of the curve. This post shows why one shouldn't recruit school students with the political knowledge of a kindergarten child to write political columns.

Was watching Animal Planet. Julia Roberts was doing a documentary on Indonesian orangutans, not very different from Robbin Williams's documentray on spotted dolphins.

Man, she has a HUGE mouth. I wish I could punch her and cave her mouth in. I've always hated her. Everybody who wants others to think that they watch a lot of english movies proclaim her as their favourite; like everybody now says Dr.Strangelove is a classic :P

P.S: My writing can't get worse.

Life, or something like it- 9

When life gives you a pair of scissors, trim your disgusting hair. And don't use the same pair to cut open what I eat.
Stupid disguster.

Fostering stupidity

Certainly did not expect to see this in a mainstream national newspaper.

But then when you can have Fair and Lovely ads and tamil soaps that so actively take awareness and science back by 500 years atleast, I guess this is much better.

BTW, did you know that Yahoo Messenger 7 has hindi audibles? Very cool.

Life, or something like it- 8

When life throws you an electricity bill, pay it. Stupid power consumer.

Google talk sucks(IMO). I hate it when companies think for you and decide that this would be the best user interaction paradigm, and end up imposing their inane paradigm on me, like Google Talk's text chat, lack of chat transcripts and so on. And how the fuck could they think that I'd want to chat with people that are on my inbox?

Lemonade

When life throws you a lemon, you pretend that you didn't see it.

Stupid flashback and some pointless nostalgia

I std. E section

Dug up an old photo. Second from right on the top row - that's me. Third from right, on the bottom row - that's Krittika Lakshmi.

About nine years after this photo was taken, I was smitten. Had a huge crush on Krittika lakshmi. She was quite a stunner by then. Without bothering you with details of all the silly, typical things I did, I'll go directly to the farewell party where we had staged a comedy play that turned out to be quite successful. As I was coming out of the stage, I saw her standing right next to the stage. Asked her if she is interested in having an ice cream, and headed to the nearest ice cream parlour. On the way to the shop, I was making all the right moves(she was too) and was about to ask her out when her dad came and picked her up. That was the end of my biggest crush.

Given an opportunity, I'd love to go back and kill her dad.

What's the point of this bland uninterestingly written post you ask? Insomnia.

The best time I ever had.
Before I left, al mani stole the t-shirt that I was wearing and an amazing top that I had bought for my friend.

And yes, my ass was so much sexier then than it is now.

Raptoral ramblings.

For some strange reason, was reminded of this dialogue. One of my all-time favourites.

பாண்டியராஜன்: என்ன சிர் இது. குதிரை மாதிரி இருக்கு. முன்னாடி போனா
கடிக்குது, பின்னாடி வன்தா ஒதைக்குது
மூர்த்ய்: தம்பி, இப்பொ தானே கல்யானம் ஆசு. அதுக்குள்ள யேன் பின்னாடி வர்ரே?

For those that can't read:
PR: Enna sir idhu, kudhirai maadhiri.. munnadi pona kadikkudhu, pinnadi vandha udhaikkudhu
VAM: Thambi, ippo dhaane kalyanam aachu. adhukkulla pinnadi yean pore?

Bad transliteration

---

Watched Marilyn Monroe's Bus Stop on Saturday, and she was totally unlike how I had imagined. She wasn't even the perfect buxom-bosomed blonde bombshell like how she was potrayed. She was pale, freckled, couldn't act and had an irritatingly shrill voice. Wonder how people could stand her.

---

Other movies over the weekend:

• Full metal jacket


• The Shining


• Dr. Strangelove

Well, no comments. Over-hyped. Period!

---

Wanted to write a review on Monty Python and the holy grail, but realised that I couldn't possibly do enough justice. It is a master-piece.

Letting go isn't tough. Coming to terms that you have let go is tough. When you fail to understand why you let go, and later, whe you question if you had to let go, life gets confusing.

The situation demands a deep statement here. Can't think of any. Will somebody please fill in?

P.S: Nilu, lets go to shiok for therapod massacre and the subsequent inebriation.

Paranoia

Disclaimer: It was a heinous act, a very heinous one indeed.

I don't understand my fetish for disclaimers. Every second statement is delimited on both sides with disclaimers. What is it that I am trying to convey - that I am a fucking liberal with an open view of the world? Why should 'liberals' use so many disclaimers? Don't they ever get tired of it?

I might be wrong, but I think this is a heinous act! Fuck you. Its your goddamned opinion. Why should you be scared that it might be wrong? What if it is wrong? How does the opinion of the dumbfucks who bother to listen you matter anyway? Of course I might be wrong about this! Gosh, people are incorrigble, but then, who isn't.

Anyways, coming to the point, Bangalore has gone nuts. The only people that I happen to know are techies here and they've gone bonkers. Everybody is talking about the BPO murder and that's all they do. And yes, they feel scared, threatened , vulnerable and have become an extremely paranoid lot.

Most of them act as if this was the first crime ever committed and that they've been living in utopia all along. I don't recall people being so agitated when a policeman raped a girl in Bombay or for that matter, incidents in Delhi and Madras.

Is it beacause for the first time, somebody in their kin has been killed and they identify with it, is it because a cab driver is in your trusted circle and when he lets you down, you don't know who else in your circle of trust can let you down next?

I was discussing this with my cousin, and realised that he was of the opinion that women should not work late at night, and this incident only reinforced it. Had the woman not gone to work at this unearthly hour, such things wouldn't have happened. The man only followed his natural urges, raped and killed her. And this cousin is 23 years old, not one from the old school.

He went on to say that all sexual assault cases happen because the women wear suggestive dresses and were asking for it and that the men just couldn't help it. It was their instinct.

To make things worse, there was a power cut on monday morning, and am in a very foul mood. So, fuck everybody.

Burnt out. Need to get drunk.

Scope

It is amusing to listen to parents' list of requirements in a college:
1. What is the scope of the course?
This is one question that drives me up the wall. I tried answering it all earnesty - "Tell him/her to choose sth that s/he is interested in". But most of the desi students(atleast in the south) don't have a clue. So, the next line of answer was "Every field has its Scope. If you are good, you can always do a masters and specialise. If you are no good, you always have the software industry (sic)."

But no, they say. One woman even went on to say "ECE is a good course for ladies".

I have two problems with this.
1. Why can't people say "women". Why shd be always be ladies?
2. Why is ECE a good course for ladies?

Anyways, after a couple of attempts, I decided that it wasn't worth it and just nodded to whatever they ask

"What do you suggest? ECE or CSE? I heard IT does not have much scope now."
"That's a good decision aunty", I said nodding feverishly. "Lots of scope" and walked away leaving them confused.

The only answer is to nuke mylapore. Will solve half the world's problems.

Ode to an extinct theropod diapsid.

Oh you fearsome dromaeosaurid,
thy presence electrifies the celluloid

Hailing from the mighty archosaurs,
quiteunlike anaconda's anal spurs

Megalodon, in comparison, was but a turkey
peed in its pants and ran away like leon trotsky

On your glance mammals scurry,
lest they become rodent curry

Cut, slash and rip hapless mammals,
running fast without sandals

Thou art great, thou art strong
incredibly sexy, without a gong.

Img: Wikipedia

Recycled pretention

My friend pointed it out and I agreed. This is my most pretentious post ever.


I am opinions personified - i wonder if there is anything that i dont have an opinion about. Being a self-proclaimed atheist, sceptic, misomundist, misanthropist(on and off), misogregist, misophilist, misogaboorist, and miso-anthaksharist among others, i wonder if i can be any other way...

Having said that i fervently hope that by my holding opinions about things doesnt amount to being opinionated or dogmatic, for i hate opinionated people ;)

Was wondering why am i such a social mess? - why is it that when people see the beauty of a sunset, i only see (1/lambda^4)-dispersion of light; why is it that i look at the sky, i feel belittled and important at the same time -belitted by my very insignificance and important because of my part in the teleological cosmic drama; why is it that when people see a flower, i wonder how does it look in the ultraviolet spectrum; why is it that in a song, i listen to that violin piece that nobody bothers to listen or appreciate; why is it that where others reacted with horror on seeing the berg guy being beheaded, i reacted with indifference, saying if you can behead a goat on tv, you can behead a human; why is that when people are happy with a great psychological support by their belief in god and fate, that i should try it the hard way; why is it that when people are blissfully ignorant of their own mediocrity, that i should be aware of my own; why is it that ... well chuck it..

i guess at some point of time you have to accept yourself for what you are; and dammit, i am happy the way i am...

My Ph.D thesis goes by the title Optimising digging one's own grave. I've been working on this topic for a few years now and is considered by most to be the world's leading expert in digging one's own grave, having had much experience in the field.

The paper outlines and for the non-faint hearted, describes in detail the various techniques that one can adopt in effectively digging it in the shortest possible time in the neatest way.

I have been invited to preside over the diggers conference at Oslo, Norway next month and conduct a live demostration. Hoping to see all of you there.

Am an amazing little cook and all too often, I surpass my earlier best dish. Today it was itze noodles. Maggi noodles mixed with ginger garlic paste, pepper, tomato sauce and chilly powder, deep fried and served hot.

Am incredible.

Suddenly, am scared stiff of growing old alone.

Had been out the whole day on a shopping spree with my friend, popularly called german by my friends. Man, people do take their marriage very seriously and put in so much energy into buying the best dress and matching jewellery right down to lingerie.

Listening to Zarathustra on yahoo podcasts. Divine :)

Life is deep, especially if you have different passwords for each of your mail accounts.

Recycled

Had been to a Patel restaurant in Palo Alto with a bengali guy from HP. The owners were a friendly couple, and the food was reasonably priced too, just that the owner refused to give a bill for the groceries bought...

The owner guy was intolerably garrulous, and it looked like his primary interest in life was collecting demographic info from the customers.

'Where are you from?' - Patel
'India' - me
'Arre bhai... where in india?' - Patel
'Madras' - me
'Calcutta' - Bong guy
'Where are u from?' - me
'I am an Indian!' - retorted the Patel, with a proud smile....
'Whatever part we are from, we are still Indians, arent we?' - Patel mama...
'Suno Kanta... Get some water.. fast...' - Patel.... for i had fainted....

And the most ridiculously insane lyrics award goes to the song Iru vizhiyin vazhiye from the movie Siva.

The line goes,

Male: Un meniyum nilai kannadiyum rasam poosa enna karanam?
Female: Ovvonrilum unai nee kaanalam idhai ketpadhenna nadagam.

Imagine a couple talking along these lines... :)

P.S: Somebody, please point me to an online tamil transliteration site.

Newbie nudes

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Just discovered black tea. Mindblowing.

Awesome, isn't it?

This

came from this

through this

and the process took 220 million years :)

Practical hypocrisy

Citizen Kane left me feeling cold, stunned and for a little while, frightened and enlightened. Kane's inability to truly love anyboy except in his own terms sounded very very very familiar.

I was reminded of a conversation that I had with my friend a few months back on what I'd call practical hypocrisy. I was doing what I do best - blasting stereotypical tambrams and their capillary-mindedness and we came to a rather interesting point on how anonymity plays an important role in supporting liberal candidates in a strongly conservative society.

This led to a discussion on what is called practical hypocrisy. I am of the opinion that if you don't speak what you think, it was hypocrisy, and he was of the opinion that it wasn't. Rather, if you don't believe in what you think you believe, that is hypocrisy - was his point.

To clarify things, lets take a very sensitive topic- say, incest. Yes, taboo on incest has a biologically sound reason, a very sound reason indeed. But, this is under the assumption that you have sex just to procreate, or that you don't use contraceptives. But now, when you have protection and people have sex just for fun, I don't see anything wrong with the concept of incest. But years of social indoctrination has made me unattracted to people I am related to.

To not say publicly that I don't believe that incest is wrong wouldn't amount to hypocrisy, but proclaiming that it is a despicable act certainly amounts to hypocrisy.

But, my friend thinks otherwise. According to him, as long as you know what you believe in, it isn't hypocrisy. You need to maintain an acceptable social image to survive well in the society and not die as a lonely old man. Makes sense to me. But having taken a path, one shouldn't be reluctant to take on the pains that come with it.

Pointless post, I know.

The UK government is considering raising the miniumum legal smoking to 18 and this guy said this on BBC.

Some people have become too self righteous. Hoping to banish all disease is egocentric in the hope of getting close to immortality. Increase the age of legal purchase to 18, but don’t wave your finger in the face of those who smoke. It is patronising to 25% of our population who do. Take away all ‘fashionably preventable’ disease and you are then left with the spectre of dying of dementia or Alzheimer’s – an end worse than death itself. I would choose lung cancer at 70 than Alzheimer’s at 99.


Sometimes, civilisation leaves you feeling scared. I plan to blow my brains out when I am forty-something. Let's see how things go.

We, the people

Sunday's edition of We, the people had a section on Should censorship be put away with!, and I was quite surprised that this did not lead to a frenzied Hamari paramara thingie.

The problem with a liberal cameraman/editor is that when anybody justifies an argument calling to help hamari parampara, the camera pans to focus on people who are laughing their ass off.

Coming back to the point,I was surprised that nobody raised this point.

I do not believe in censorship; the fact that a few people decide what I see is an insult to my intelligence. However, looking at the current episodes in TN, for instance, I don't think the society is ready for it yet.


I have only one condition to fall for a woman - she should be a liberal feminist. And Pooja Bhatt is one.

Deja vu

I haven't seen Citizen Kane earlier, but all the scenes have a vague familiarity.

Was Citizen Kane remade in Tamil?

l

I tell you, being born as a mammal was a bad, bad choice. I hate hair and sweat, and guess what, bingo!

I hate to shave, trim, crop and clean once every so often. If it was male sexual selection that gave led to women shedding their body hair over time, I hate those prehistoric women who chose men with body hair.

You get your best laughs in bed; in one of those moments while making out when you have a compulsive urge to tell her that you love her, and she says earnestly - You don't HAVE to tell it every time.

:)

Dinosaurs - Earth's first astronauts?

This dude suggests that dinosaurs took to space 65 million years before humans did. His argument looks quite convincing to me. This opens up the possibility that we might one day get dinosaur thigh steak marinated in red wine on mars :)

Quite possibly, dinosaurs were earth's first astronauts and started the space race. We are 65 million years behind.

P.S: Bimbo, I am kidding, of course. Read the article.

Being a parent.

Aekta's post criticising excessive sexuality in movies reminded me of my apprehensions about parenthood.

I dread being a parent; probably the only thing I dread more is being trapped in an all-gaboor room with people playing antakshari all day long. The reason why I dread it so much is because I don't know the first thing about bringing up a child, the type of moral instructions it should or shouldn't get; to bring up a child as an atheist or as an agnostic; to impose a sense of right/wrong at an age when it is too young to form impression; and if doing all this or not doing this will affect the child's psychological and emotional character in any way, and if it does, will I be responsible for it.

Heck, I don't even know if I should feel responsible. My upbringing tells me that I am responsible, and my mind tells me that I am not. Left to myself, I'd bring up the child as a scientifically-minded atheist that doesn't hold anything as right or wrong. But again, will I be being fair to the child. Not that there is anything wrong in bringing up a child in a way that would pput the child at a disadvantage later in its life, but it would ease my guilt.

Sometimes I wonder how parents bring up children the way they bring them up. Do they do what their parents did, their society is doing, or do they apply their minds to it and decide it on a case-by-case basis? Who told parents that exposing children to sexuality at an early age will lead to mental trauma later in life? Or are parents acting on what every other parent says?

How do parents decide to tell their children that, for example, that certain things are right and certain things aren't? What if the parents themselves can't discriminate between what is right and what is wrong?

How do parents tell their children to be patriotic? How do parents do the things they do? Am totally confused... Will somebody please clarify?