Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Sweet young techie commits massacre.. Pandemonium in the city

This is the story of a young, soft-spoken, courteous and extremely sweet techie in Bangalore.

It all began 24 years back, when this cherubic-looking child was born to loving parents. Legend says that the child developed toilet manners when he was 2.5 days old when he realised the inconvenience that he caused to the nurses and to his mom. He then profusely apologised his mom and the nurses on the 4th day when his mom was discharged from the hospital.

He started receiving guests and engaging them in talks when he was 2 months old. What struck most people was the genuine streak of pain that spread across his face whenever he talked about the poor and the needy. By the time he was 6 months old, he had been to Orissa to overlook the flood relief operations, and involved himself in protests against Tienamann Square massacre.

When the world was praising this prodigy, he felt bad that he wasn't spending time with his parents.Consequently, he retired from active public life at 2.5 years, went out, stood in the queue under the scorching Madras sun for 2 days, and got the school admission form. The smile that spread across his mother's face was worth all the effort.

In school, he advocated non-violence, universal brotherhood/sisterhood, ban on animal testing, adviced students on their personal and academic life, taught teachers the importance of being tolerant towards students, created awareness about global warming, gay rights and the pan-democratic movement. By the time he came to 2nd standard, he had reinvented Buddha's teachings and Friggin's laws on Conjugative dissonance.

The prodigy continued unabated till undergrad when he decided to stay back to serve his motherland, moved to Bangalore, became a techie and continued serving mankind...

All this came to an abrupt end one day when he pulled out an MG 34 and pumped round after round of tracer bullets into every human being in the vicinity for goddamned honking at the signal when there were still 10 more seconds to go for the signal to turn green. Half the traffic had meanwhile decided on its own course of action, and bottle-necked the free-flowing traffic. The traffic police had no way of stopping this freaking senseless juggernaut.

Satisfied with the screams from helpless children, he waited till every sound died down and after counting 140 dead bodies, he smiled affably, uttered a satisfied sigh, and went on to other signals to continue serving humanity.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

:))))
Bad day at the office..eh?

-Kuzh

Ishwar said...

ya... very....

Nilu said...

then wat yappen??

Anonymous said...

Whatever you do,Traffic jams in blore will not go away...like the cockroach-atom bomb thing.
Only way out is Genocide.
pethu....
-Kuzh

Anonymous said...

Aaahngsst

- Guru

anantha said...

Hmmmm... such anger.. damn this rap music!

Ishwar said...

u shd be here to believe it... ask nilu...
btw machi, miga periya blogger aayitte ;)

cvs said...

I luv traffic.
Otherwise i get reminded of Tanjore, vallam.
I think thats what makes the city lively...

-mani